The goddess revisited
Heidi Gray was the most beautiful girl at Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High School. Back in the Sixties, when beauty operated according to much stricter guidelines, she was the Golden Girl, the one who had it all. And because she was so perfect, Heidi was the yardstick against which all of us girls at LSR measured our relative worth as a female.
Back in those days everyone strived to be perfectly blonde, perfectly formed, and perfectly feminine; whether we were that way or not. If Heidi came by these things naturally, they were not natural to me. And my deficiencies drove me to fit the mold by resorting to bottles of peroxide, daily doses of Speed, and magazines that dished out tips on how to turn myself into something I was not.
After a lifetime of trying to be Heidi, through years of feeling like a misfit because nothing in me knew how to pull it off, I have finally figured out that the Goddess has more than one face. And the pin hole through which Heidi’s ‘Aphrodite’ image became my only point of reference has expanded to include a long list of feminine archetypes whose origins can be traced all the way back to a woman by the name of Lilith.
If it takes us forever to accept ourselves, late is better than never. Only recently have I come to understand that The Goddess expresses herself differently from woman to woman. Time has shown me that I look more like a cross between Lilith and Minerva. After more than six decades I hav finally figured out how to distill the best of both archetypes into my own brand of female energy – one that I no longer need to apologize for.
As the Divine Feminine awakens, I have decided that it’s time for us to embrace all of her. The Venus archetype is a wonder to behold but it isn’t big enough to cover everything a woman carries in her soul. If beauty and grace get us so far, when it comes time for strength, and wisdom, and unconditional love, we’d be lost if we didn’t know how to summon up every other aspect of the Goddess.
This is not to say that it’s our job to reflect all of her; only she can do that. The best we can do is cultivate the aspects of the Goddess that live in us, and bring them to their highest level of expression. Time teaches us how to do this. In my own case, if the youthful Lilith played the role of the deranged bitch, her ancient counterpart has finally figured out that not wanting to be tied down doesn’t mean you’re crazy. And the studious Minerva, who only wanted her father’s approval and who turned into an overly intellectual wallflower when she didn’t get it, is now so in love with herself and so empowered by her own thoughts, she doesn’t really care if anyone asks her to dance.
I don’t know what it’s like for other women. I used to think that the Aphrodite gals had an easier ride; but Venus weakens with age and the vision of loveliness has her own cross to bear. Past a certain point, there’s no way to youth-anize what time does to beauty – unless you learn how to pull it from the heart.
As far as Diana goes, she needs to be immersed in the freedom of nature in order to feel alive; because of this, her MO is to escape or avoid anything that separates her from her natural self. This is how Diana maintains her sovereignty. If she runs away from everything in her youth by the time she’s old enough to know better she has to come to terms with herself or she winds up with no place left to run.
Kali destroys everything she touches; she flirts with death and destruction; so does Sekhmet. Both of them are bloodthirsty. As they age, which is always an issue because they often becomes victims of their own process, Kali and Sekhmet have to figure out that this power of theirs has its place only when it is used to annihilate what is not of the light. The Kalis and the Sekhmets are the ‘tough girls’ the ones who used to beat us up after school; ‘biker chicks’ are molded from the same template. If they live through their youth, these women grow into amazingly powerful creatures, super-wise, old crones with X-Ray vision and more inner strength than any male.
Kwan Yin and Mother Mary carry a much softer vibration. Their energy is compassionate and kind. As children, these women are the ones who get singled out for their goodness. They take in wounded birds, they nourish and nurture, they mediate and heal, they are not geared for conflict – the Kwan Yin/Mother Mary archetype is the ‘truly good soul’. Her virtues are typically exploited by lesser mortals. These women often get ‘used up’ but they have so much protection, no matter how much deceit and difficulty they are exposed to, they do not become bitter. Over time, the unconditional love that pours out of their hearts becomes its own reward.
‘The Magdalene’ is one of the most complex Goddess archetypes. Cast as the whore, her youthful ride is always flavored with sexual intensities that can take any number of forms. Degradation is usually a theme; and there are always men, to whom this face of the Goddess becomes a source of spiritual sustenance. If she doesn’t get stoned to death, the Magdalene archetype ages into the woman who holds space for the female ‘Master’, the fully embodied, ‘Christed Female’, the one whose abilities are wrought from within.
It would take forever to look at every face of the Goddess; but perhaps there’s no need to – because it’s easy enough to connect with ourselves and get a feel for who we are inside. When we examine our personal history, the patterns that emerge make it obvious that we are acting out our own version of a myth that was written to show us which aspect of the Goddess we came here to embody. Some of us are pure versions of a single archetype; some of us hold a combination of two or three.
In less than four months, the Divine Female is due to return. If the Kogi Elders have it right, the feminine light will be switched on as of December 22nd, 2012. Thinking about what this really means, and understanding that we really are ‘the ones we have been waiting for’, I realized that the return of the Divine Feminine is no longer an abstract thing – it is in the process of becoming real through each one of us.
Of late, the Lilith in me has been busy refining what at one time gave her nothing but trouble. My Minerva has been just as active, bringing the best parts of her self to my life. The two of them have learned to respect, support, and get along with each other. I can’t help but think that I am only one woman in the ocean of females who inhabit this world. Could it be that our individual attempts to master our own Goddess energies will form points of color and light that combine to bring what we keep calling “The Divine Feminine” to life?
Are we all the Goddess?
I am pretty sure that’s what this is all about – and I am definitely sure that it’s time to lift the Divine Female out of the abstract and remind ourselves that it isn’t Wonder Woman who’s going to pop out of a cloud and redeem us from the dregs of the male frequency. Within each one of us there are pieces of the Goddess that taken together, reflect her in her totality. As we begin to recognize and master the portions of her being that we have been chosen to be both a reflection of, and the steward for, I see a million points of light creating conscious patterns of awareness that will open the space for the Divine Feminine to bless this world with trust, harmony, peace, and the spirit of unconditional love.
PS: If you’re clueless as to which face of the Goddess belongs to you, open a mythology book – Hindu, Celtic, Christian, Norse, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Mayan, Atlantean, Lemurian – take your pick – and read whatever you can find until you connect with a goddess whose story reminds you of your own.
Cal Garrison
Cal Garrison is a practicing astrologer with 40 years of experience. An author with five books to her credit,Cal is well known for her affiliation with the late Slim Spurling. A single mother with three grown daughters, Cal lives happily in the Red Rocks of Sedona, Arizona. She can be reached at: cal.garrison@gmail.com