My little episode
“The more you enter the heart like a child, with open eyes and senses, the easier and more direct your experience will be.”
From ‘Living in the Heart‘ – by Drunvalo Melchizedek
It’s 3 AM and I am standing in my kitchen with an empty cup of coffee looking for a refill. Don’t ask me how I got here. but I am beginning to notice that something is wrong. Thirty minutes ago I was in a clutch about meeting a magazine deadline – now all of a sudden the left side of my body is numb, and the right side of my body is still there but it is dizzy. I feel like I am half in it, and half out of it, bobbing around inside a bubble of moving water with no center of gravity.
It all started when I went to get the second cup of coffee. I had been awake writing. As soon as I got out of the chair I knew something wasn’t right. It didn’t faze me until I wound up having to ‘roll’ along the wall to make it from my writing chair to the coffee pot. Now here I stand, wondering if the dimensions are shifting or if I am having some sort of ‘episode’ .
The sense of being split down the middle, of being able to feel the separation that breaks us in two, running down the midline, from the top of my skull, through my head, down my spine splitting me in half with one side totally petrified and the other side feeling like what I can only describe as a tornado in a bottle, is mind blowing.
If I thought everything would settle down I was wrong. It didn’t go away. And because I am such a space cadet, It took me another half-an-hour to figure out that this was not a dimensional shift.
It’s interesting to catch yourself in the middle a heart attack. People never tell you what it’s like – and I am sure that the experience is different for everyone. I didn’t find out till after the fact that women have a variety of experiences when it comes to heart failure – and none of us experience it the way men do; who knew?
Part of the reason my little episode didn’t send me rushing to the ER is because it wouldn’t occur to me; I don’t get sick. I don’t use doctors for anything. I’ve always been into alternative medicine – so instead of 911, it was my light body that came to mind.
Taking a deep breath, I found myself in the center of it, looking into a field that looked like it was made of liquefied mirrors. One more breath swept me into the space that I find myself in whenever I return to myself. I call this place my heart chamber.
Normally I see nothing but an empty triangular shaped cavern with pink granite walls when I enter this place. There is always a bed of ashes from a burnt out fire in the center of it. This time, there was nothing solid, or rock-like about it.
I found myself looking at what seemed like an Octopus turning inside out – until I saw that it was my heart that was doing this. The physical organ was going outside-in and inside-out; it was alive and moving, writhing its way through some perfectly timed transformation.
The experience awed me. As yet I don’t know what to make of it.
People who know about these things have told me that I am “One lucky girl’.
Three months down the road, I can’t tell you exactly what happened to me in the wee hours of the morning on July 31st. Three world-class healers have called it cardiac arrest. Two others swear it was a stroke.
Yes; I am one lucky girl
The scars in my heart have made it stronger. It’s too soon to find words for any of this but I do know one thing: I know that I am not the same person. And I know that:
“The more you enter the heart like a child, with open eyes and senses, the easier and more direct your experience will be.”
Cal Garrison
is a practicing astrologer with 40 years of experience. An author of five books to her credit, Cal is well known for her affiliation with the late Slim Spurling. A single mother with three grown daughters, Cal lives happily in the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona. She can be reached at: cal.garrison@gmail.com