Our Animal Friends
This column is dedicated to the fur and feather angels who bless us and add joy to our lives. Look here for a collection of useful and inspirational content collected by our Spirit of Ma’at mascot Lily and her human Dani Lodes. Enjoy!
Connecting with our animal companions when serious illness occurs
by Doctor Todd Metcalf
Harmony Holistic Veterinary Care
Prescott, Arizona
Can’t it be upsetting when one of our animal companions is seriously ill?
Not only might we worry about their wellbeing, we also may face numerous choices about how to proceed with their care. Do we have blood work and/or x-rays done? What about surgery? Should we go the holistic route? And all the information on the Internet – what do we believe? And still another element is the feelings and thoughts we have around potentially losing our companion in the dying process.
Some personal insights
I would like to share some insights and processes that I have found helpful to myself and others in these areas. I share them in the spirit of suggestions, as I observe there are many ways to approach these issues and no one way is “Right”. If what I share is helpful to you, fantastic. If it doesn’t fit or feel right, then surely some other approach will be better for you.
Firstly, if we are having strong emotions and fears of losing our pet, it can be very difficult for us to make choices. This is certainly true for me. In addition to concerns for my own animals, these emotions can arise in me as a practitioner if I’ve been treating an animal for an extended period; become “attached” to the animal, and the animal has taken a downturn in physical health.
What I have found helpful is to first acknowledge my feelings about what is happening or about what I’m afraid will happen, and go ahead and accept and feel those feelings. For example, if an animal has a serious condition we may first feel fear or helplessness or sadness (or all of those feelings) about it being ill. Rather than resist the reality of the illness and of the emotions, we can accept the situation and the feelings, cry if we need to, and then arrive at a state of more clarity.
Similarly, if we are afraid that our animal may die from the condition, we can accept and feel the emotions that we would have to feel were they to die, and again arrive in a state of more peacefulness from which to make our choices.
Repeating the process
Sometimes we may need to repeat the process again and again, or at different points in the process of caring for an animal. Maybe we’ve accepted the possibility of losing our pet when we first notice a lump on their body, but after a biopsy we find out it is an aggressive cancer.
We may need, again, to accept those uncomfortable feelings, feel them, breathe, and allow them to run their course, before we can make any further decisions. Note that this does not mean that we want the animal to be ill, or want them to die. It is merely a process for clearing our hearts and minds so we can come from a loving connection with our animals and ourselves when we proceed with their care.
As challenging as this can be, and it really can be, believe me, I know, I have found it opens my heart up to compassion and connection with my animals and parts of my own awareness. It helps me make my next step from a sense of love and caring, rather than fear.
When we accept our challenging feelings we can restore our sense of positive connection with our animals. Sometimes we feel the deeper being we share. We may sense something we could learn from the animal or have an intuitive insight about the animal’s condition. Other times we simply have clarity of mind and heart and can proceed with treatment choices knowing we are doing the best we can even as the outcome of treatment is unknown. Note that this does not mean we know the outcome of the choice we make, but that the choice comes from Love and Caring.
As much as we want guaranteed outcomes… there are none. We can only take the journey, and the journey is part of the mystery of life.
Once we’ve accepted the current state of affairs of our animal friend, rather than resisting them, we can move forward with the next step. Perhaps we need to make an appointment with a veterinarian to ask some questions and gather more information. Maybe there are tests to be done.
Maybe we want to call a friend that might know something from their experience. Doors tend to open and insights tend to come. Again, we may not necessarily know the outcome of our choices, but we can make them from love and caring and let Love lead us along. Then, no matter whether our pet “lives”, or “dies” (moves into another type of life?) we can feel in our hearts that we’re doing the best we can, given the circumstances we have, in providing loving care for our animal companions.
Mocha
Recently, we treated a dog named “Mocha” that had a severe neurological disorder. We treated Mocha for 9 months two times a week. He was severely uncoordinated, wobbling and gyrating and at times falling or crashing into things. He always maintained a happy countenance, and gazed lovingly at his human companion…until his physical condition deteriorated to where he couldn’t arise to eat or eliminate and he was lovingly euthanized.
When I accepted his deterioration and my feelings of grief I felt a soulful connectedness to Mocha, and I sensed the growthful opportunity he had given me to do all I knew to do and learn more and more in trying to help him. I was stretched in researching, consulting with numerous experts, trying new ways to treat his condition.
I really, really wanted to help Mocha, and I did all I could in trying to find ways to reach that part of him that would make the changes that would help him. Through it all, Mocha remained a happy-camper, wagging his tail and sometimes falling over in excitement as he came for his treatments.
When I accepted his passing, as much as it hurt, a part of me smiled inside when we connected during his euthanasia. It was as if we (not just he, not just I) had given our best and now we were just connecting in Love. No more struggling. What a sweet and wonderful dog-being. How nourishing just to join in that love together. And of course, remembering Mocha just being happy and being OK with “what is” in his life, what an example he was to me!
Information on Hospice Care for Your Pet…
Spirits In Transition
More helpful articles on coping with pet loss
Is Euthanasia the Right Choice?
Explaining Pet Loss to Children: Six Do’s and Don’ts
Loss and the Burden of Guilt
For information on grief support hotlines and support groups visit:
APLB.org
Deerval.com
GriefHealing.com
or call:
California Davis University
Grief Counseling
(530) 752-4200
Ohio State University
Grief Counseling
(614) 292-1823
Both hotlines are staffed by veterinary students specially trained in pet loss grief counseling.
Rommel and His Brush with Aggression
by Doctor Todd Metcalf
Harmony Holistic Veterinary Care
Prescott, Arizona
“Rommel” is a handsome Doberman who was brought to our practice by his loving and concerned people, Deb and Daniel. “Rommel” had been living with Daniel since being a puppy. Deb and “Rommel” had been more recent pals, having known each other for close to three years. The reason for their visit to us was that “Rommel” had recently begun growling at Deb while they were all lying in bed together. In addition, “Rommel” was glaring at Deb with an unsettling, distant look in his eye. This was, happening with increasing occurrence and was understandably, becoming a serious concern for Daniel and Deb. Because “Rommel” had been with Daniel for so long, the assumption in my mind was that perhaps there was a jealousy issue or possessive issue developing with “Rommel” turning aggressive towards Deb. That seemed to be the ‘likely explanation’. As a veterinarian, I was quite concerned, because I wasn’t sure if this problem could be addressed while keeping Deb from potential serious harm.
On evaluating “Rommel”, we found he had tension in his neck, and an unusual amount of heat radiating from the area of his left temple. In addition, he had some areas of pain in his mid and upper back. The pain in his mid and upper back were of the type that is common in many dogs that reach middle age. It was not severe and does not typically lead to aggression, but it can with some dogs. The neck tension and heat radiating from “Rommel’s” temple, however, were unusual, and I believe “Rommel” had a very, very uncomfortable headache. Gentle chiropractic and osteopathic manipulations were done on each of the areas affecting “Rommel”. Particular attention was given to his neck and head. This was followed by acupuncture treatment to release the heat and tensions in his head, neck and spine. “Rommel’s” treatments were repeated and his peculiar tendency toward aggressions resolved. On further discussion, it was found that Rommel had also had been given a Rabies vaccination a short time prior to the beginning of his unusual behaviors. It is known that in SOME dogs Rabies vaccinations can lead to behavior changes – including aggression. “Rommel” was placed on herb formulas that help expel from the body such an impact from a vaccination. This was done as a safeguard.
The heat from “Rommel’s” head has been gone since that time. He still has occasional treatments for tension pain in his mid & upper back. Even with those pains, his aggressive behaviors have not recurred and it has been five year since his initial visit. This was all a great relief to Deb and Daniel, who adore “Rommel” and give him the “Life of Riley”. “Rommel” is snuggled every night in what must be a cozy spot in bed with Daniel and Deb.
An holistic approach can help many animals with aggression of different origins. Aggression is often classified as being based on fear, dominance, territoriality, possessiveness, etc. Because an animal showing aggression can be of harm to itself and others, it is imperative, in our opinion, to have the animal evaluated by the appropriate professionals and trainers. Be thorough, cautious and wise, and perhaps the animal can be aided!
Most Sincerely,
Todd Metcalf, DVM