The One Good Habit of Successful People

As we all know, where our lives are concerned it's not whether something works or not that makes it successful. What matters is whether or not we do it. This truth can be illustrated by the findings of the multilevel marketing people that 75% of the people who join never recruit anyone. It is well established in the MLM industry that:

95 percent fail to make any money and eventually quit.
3 percent make a little money but eventually quit.
1 percent make some profit and stay involved.
1 percent make substantial profit and stay involved.

And only a tiny, tiny percentage — perhaps 1 in 1000 — becomes wealthy and financially independent.

This means that when we tell people in a magazine article that they can become rich by putting some set of principles into practice, we are fudging — not a little, but a lot. Three out of four people will do nothing at all. And no matter how they start out, 98% will eventually quit.

The reason we fail to take action, or start and then quit, seems to be basically that we run out of steam. We lack the motivation. Or rather, we are motivated by fear. Even if we start out doing something with enthusiasm, when we get some negative feedback, we become afraid to get more of it, and we ''lose interest.'' And since negative feedback is a fact of life, we never quite make it over the top.

We may have tons of education, we may possess most of the 7 or 11 or howevermany habits of successful people, we may have the absolutely perfect financial opportunity — but with negative motivation, we might as well be illiterate dropouts with terminal halitosis. And most of us have negative motivation, and feel upset that our many talents are not being rewarded. But genius, charm, and know-how, without positive motivation, are like a Rolls Royce without gasoline.

And because positive motivation — which I have observed is the one good habit of successful people — leads to the unbending pursuit of our goals, that one good habit is all we really need.

This seems to contradict all the success books that recommend impeccable grooming, caring personalities, persuasiveness, and so on. And these things are assuredly important. But whatever we need, if we have positive motivation, it will come to us on wings. Positive motivation is the gas that runs the car — any car. With gas in the tank and reasonable upkeep, a beat-up old jalopy will take us wherever it is we're headed.

Negative Motivation: The Circular Pattern

To understand the impact of negative motivation upon our life experience, let's consider the following scenario:

Step 1. Good Times. Things are going very well. Happily spending money in expectation of more Good Times, we coast along. We don't have time for meditation or spiritual practice. This leads to...

Step 2. Okay Times. Things are somewhat falling apart, but we're blithely unconcerned. So our outgo is somewhat exceeding our income, so what? So the boss has started immitating Ghengis Kahn, and our job has all the appeal of cold grease. Hey, it's food. We're paying the rent. It's Okay. We tell ourselves we're going to resume our spiritual practice one of these days. This leads to...

Step 3. Blah Times. Sometimes, worries niggle at us. Sometimes, sleeping is a bit fitful or not at all. But we're mostly in denial, holding our breath, squeezing out payments, letting things slide, oozing along inside a vague assumption that things will soon be Okay again ... if we don't get fired, of course. We try to meditate, but we're feeling negative, and it doesn't work. This leads to...

Step 4. Hard Times. The job went south and, if that wasn't enough, the boss accused us of stealing his Rolex watch (we didn't even know he had one). We've maxed out the credit cards. We've come down with six new allergies, carpal tunnel syndrome, and chronic fatigue. We are in an identifiably negative situation, nay, a walking nightmare. Still, we realize that it is only a dream. Soon, we will wake up. We think about making some positive projections; we may even write them down, but we don't really take the time to get into a positive space about them. This leads to...

Step 5. Total Catastrophe. They've taken away the car, turned off the phone, unhooked the cable. We had to pawn Jake's Les Paul to pay the electric bill, and we sold a family heirloom to meet the last mortgage payment. We are in the financial pickle jar, and we are scared. In fact, we are terrified. We have got to do something in order to get rid of this fear. This leads to...

Step 6. Activity. We reach deep inside for every last drop of inner resource. We set new goals, write them down, visualize them. We start meditating every day, and doing prosperity affirmations in which we really take the time to ''feel'' successful. We make lists of things to do, then do them. We make lists of people to contact, then contact them. We identify problems and come up with solution strategies, then we implement the strategies. We spend some time each day contacting our Higher Self and making sure that we are on course. We think about the positive steps we are taking, and about our goals. This leads to...

Step 7. Success. Miracles. Something worked. We are busy and happy again, and, unfortunately, we don't seem to have the ''time'' to keep on doing the things that got us here. This leads to...

Step 8. Please return to Step 1.

Call it the yo-yo syndrome, call it the Myth of Sisyphus, call it Life, or what you will — it's not satisfying and it's not necessary.

Positive Motivation: The Growth Pattern

The pattern for successful people, both in creating abundance and in gracefully becoming more and more peaceful and centered, eliminates the first five steps. Otherwise it's pretty much the same as the pattern for failure.

Step 1. Activity. We reach deep inside for every last drop of inner resource. We set new goals, write them down, and visualize them. We meditate every day, and do prosperity affirmations, really taking the time to ''feel'' successful. We make lists of things to do, then we do them. We make lists of people to contact, then we contact them. We identify problems and come up with solution strategies, then we implement the strategies. We spend some time each day reviewing our behavior and making necessary internal corrections. This leads to...

Step 2. Success. We feel successful each and every day because we have done everything that we feel we should be doing, and we can leave the rest to Spirit. Not everything turns out, but over time we are always further ahead than before. We never go too far back. And no matter what's going on today, it leads to...

Step 3. Please return to Step 1.

Understanding These Patterns

Note that in the failure pattern, it is Total Catastrophe that drives us toward Activity. In the growth pattern, we are motivated to Activity by the enjoyment of contemplating and working toward our desires.

If we need Total Catastrophe in order to engage in growth-producing behavior, it will be given to us. In the final analysis, we get what we need in order to grow!

We're not saying that successful people are drudges. Quite the contrary. It is unsuccessful people who go to jobs they hate, day after day, negatively motivated by the fear of getting fired, losing the house, not being able to pay the bills, and so on.

With positive motivation, each day's little accomplishments and their accompanying feelings of satisfaction provide the impetus to keep on doing the kinds of things that created those feelings. Even when things don't turn out as planned, which happens to all of us, successful people still feel good because they did their best.

On the other hand, those of us who follow the failure pattern live with problems and procrastinate about solving them. We go through the first five steps of the failure pattern for one purpose only: to cultivate the fear motivation we need in order to perform the next Activity step.

Some of us also engage in active self-sabotage. Self-sabotage has the effect of hurling us into Total Catastrophe much more quickly than if we were simply to rest upon our laurels. But active self-sabotage just speeds up the process, it doesn't cause it.

Use It Or Lose It

A scene in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass is actually a wonderful parable of the truth that we have to ''use it or lose it.''

Looking Glass Land is a land of the mind, an inward ''mirror image'' of outer reality. Here, Alice comes upon the Red Queen, who takes her by the hand and begins running — so fast that she's huffing and puffing and flushed in the face. After a while they stop, and Alice sees that they have not moved forward an inch. An incredulous Alice points out that where she comes from (that is, physical reality), anyone who was running this hard would get somewhere.

''A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. ''Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.''

In physical reality, if we sit in one place, we'll stay there. But in the abstract reality of success and personal growth, if we manage to pull ourselves up to plus-10, then breathe a sigh of relief and give up our daily practice, we will not stay there. We will go backwards.

Perhaps the fear that is strong enough to motivate us sets in at minus-20, or minus-50, or even minus-100. Total Catastrophe is different strokes for different folks. But whatever it takes to terrify us into activity, that becomes what motivates us. It leads to the Activity step, and that leads us, eventually, back into the plus zone.

How to Create Positive Motivation

The first thing to realize is that it's not something we need to do that will make the difference in our lives, but something we need to think. It is our thinking that leads to our doing — to our actions and their outcomes.

I have come up with two techniques to help my clients build positive motivation. They are the ''Think List,'' and ''Listening.'' Using the Think List technique takes only a few seconds each day. Listening takes no time at all.

Daily Practice: The Think List

This assumes that we have written down and visualized all of our goals in the areas of health, home, friends, romance, work, and spiritual pursuits. The techniques suggested by Abraham are valuable here (see The Three Laws of Manifestation elsewhere in this issue). And the Spirit of Ma'at has many other articles this month where we may find good information about the well-formed goal and how to ''launch'' it as a creation.

Many of us actually do this part. What we fail to do is to sit down and perform the Daily Practice that keeps our goals alive. Something happens to discourage us, and instead of re-affirming our goals through Daily Practice, we start to create negative programming that pushes them away from us.

There is, however, a very simple solution to keeping things moving in a positive direction. Here it is:

After you have outlined your goals, write them down in a list — one sentence for each goal. Then we are going to add 5 more items to this list.
Think of three things that you do repetitively where the outcome is important to you. We'll call them the Practice Set. Example: (1) driving my car, (2) seeing clients, (3) making sales calls. Add the following three goals to your list: ''Each time I engage in driving my car (seeing clients, making sales calls), I remember to project success.'' For example, carrying out this goal for driving your car would mean spending a few seconds before you start it up to imagine a smooth trip and safe arrival; before seeing a client it would mean imagining the result that you wish to achieve with that person; and so on. (If perchance you suddenly realize one day that you are really doing this habitually for one of the items in your Practice Set, choose a new item.) You have now added three items to your Think List.
Add to your list the following goal: ''I find myself wanting to take time each day to meditate and contact my Higher Self/Inner Being.''
Add one more item to your list: ''It feels exciting and rewarding to periodically review and update my goals.''
Now you have your Think List. Put the list next to your bed, and simply read it over every night before you go to sleep. When you feel like it, you can pause at each item and mentally ''recreate'' it. Sometimes you may feel drawn to close your eyes for several seconds and really ''live'' the goal. But don't set it up for yourself that you have to spend 15 minutes every night with this list, or you're setting yourself up for failure. Put more energy in when you feel like it. The rest of the time, just read the list, paying close attention to what you are reading.

Does this seem too easy? Perhaps it is. But by doing it, you will certainly be way, way ahead of where you would be if you didn't do it. And anyone — even me! — can do this. Even if we are dead tired and ''out of it'' when we go to bed, we can still glance down the list. At other times, we may find ourselves spending more time. But, especially if we have a history of starting big things and not finishing them, it is important not to take on more than just this much. Let the rest come naturally.

The purpose of the Think List is to make our Daily Practice something that we actually will do every single day of our lives. And by doing it, we will automatically be building positive motivation. It is one small change that can actually make all the difference.

And don't try to monitor your success in other ways. For as long as it takes, success means reviewing our Think List! Let the Universe take care of the rest. It will.

Listening

''Listening'' is to get us back into our right mind when we are at our wit's end. People who do this often find that it helps them move faster and with fewer hangups along the way.

There are all kinds of instructions for what to do when we find ourselves thinking in a negative way, accompanied by negative feelings. We know that when we are doing this we are ''miscreating,'' but it seems as though our minds are being ''hijacked'' (as Scott Peck puts it), and we are just along for the ride.

We know that we are supposed to simply change our thinking, but in the midst of a panic attack that's much easier said than done. What we can do, however, is listen to the words of people who have lifted themselves out of negativity and want to help us do the same. There are literally thousands of motivational tapes out there that can help us to stay in a positive frame of mind.

We can invite the most powerful, successful, upbeat, happy, wealthy, loving, service-oriented people in the world into our living room, our study, our car. While cleaning the house or commuting, we can be in the company of people who have achieved exactly what we want to achieve at a world-class level. We don't have to worry about our ability to follow all their advice — it's enough just to soak up their vibrations.

Until our own mind and emotional body have become reliable allies in our success, it makes sense to help ourselves out by associating ourselves with people whose minds and hearts have the ability to inspire.

I Don't Think This Is Going to Work

I had a friend once who was trying to get into the habit of exercising. She'd tried everything else and it hadn't worked, so she hit upon setting up an exercise program that she could actually imagine herself doing. It was this:

Three exercises, three repetitions, three times a week.

This was something she thought she could stick to. She had no concept that this tiny amount of exercise could make any big difference in how she felt or looked, but it was do-able. So she did it.

A year later, she was doing 10 exercises, 25 repetitions, 5 times a week, and had lost 30 pounds.

Once you are actually doing the Think List exercise, you can add refinements. But they should always be in the area of thought, not action. Here is a goal that you could add to your list, a goal that has the intrinsic ability to create positive motivation for you: ''More and more I find myself acting out of Inner motivation instead of outer compulsion.''

Questions and Answers

Question: Is it important to review my Think List at night rather than at some other time?

Answer: Yes. This allows you to go to work on it in the dream state, preparing yourself psychologically for the future you have envisioned. If that's not a good time, at least do it late in the day. Morning tends to be an ''elimination'' phase, and so that's not the best time to create. Even when you want to awaken feeling good and carrying that into your day, it's best to program this the night before.

Question: I don't really believe what you are saying. I would be doing fine except I just foolishly spend what I make and end up back at zero. It's my spending patterns that are the problem, not negative motivation.

Answer: If you had positive motivation, you would be able to do the daily spiritual work that would alter those spending patterns. You would be motivated to do this by the contemplated joys of being in an abundant state, of creating beauty and prosperity for yourself and your loved ones. And if you are creating financial pressures on yourself, if that is the net result of your spending patterns, then a part of you believes that this negative state is necessary. When we function off of joy, when we are motivated by the positive, then we do not need to create negative conditions.

Question: I really believe in doing what I like to do, and I manage to do that. But I just don't have any money. I think I'm positively motivated, though.

Answer: Are you enjoying not having any money? I didn't think so. If you had positive motivation, you would be able to do the daily spiritual work that would alter your reality concerning abundance. Then you'd be doing what you like to do and creating prosperity.

Question: I am beginning to see that no matter what we say is the problem, the answer is the same: Daily Practice. People who have positive motivation enjoy doing Daily Practice because it gives them a good feeling, a feeling of accomplishment. Is this correct?

Answer: Yes, partly. But also, they are motivated to do it because of what they are creating, and knowing that this spiritual work will bring about their dreams. That is what I am saying. They are not doing it out of last-ditch desperation. They are doing it in order to move toward something, not away from something.

Question: Okay, but there's no solution, then. I need to do daily spiritual practice to develop positive motivation, but since I don't have positive motivation, I won't do it. It's a Catch-22.

Answer: Yes, that's true. The truth is, if we keep on doing what we are doing, we will keep on getting what we are getting.

But one reason we don't change is because it requires such heroic effort. What I'm suggesting is that if we abandon the heroic effort and instead set ourselves a task that we can actually do — like my friend's three exercises — then by doing it, we will be ''lifting ourselves by our own bootstraps.''

Listening to motivational tapes takes no time, we can do it while we are doing other things, and they really do help with the pain when we are having traumas. The Think List can be read over in just a few seconds, yet contains suggestions that will pyramid our growth. These activities are self-reinforcing and self-expanding — yet the ''doingness'' is so simple, we can actually stick to them.

A tiny seed creates the mighty oak. Small things are enough.

Adapted for the Spirit of Ma'at from The Rainbow Game, copyright Susan Barber, March 1999.