What to Do When the Love Doesn't Work?

By Phoenix Rising Star

(Author's Note: My apologies to those anxiously waiting for the interview with Excalibur, purveyor of ancient stones. He will be featured in November.)

In other words, what do we do when we try to fill ourselves with love, joy and gratitude, but we get yuck instead?

I had many people writing after the 8-8-08 meditation (see the August issue of Spirit of Maat) to tell me it simply didn't work for them.

The love wasn't there.

It was gone.

And where did it go?

Why weren't they able to have the fantastic experiences that some of the others had?

I posed that question to Melchizedek and his team of 12 ascended masters and angels who'd originally brought me the meditation.

He answered, "It's like drinking a glass of water with debris in the bottom of the glass. You begin filling the glass and what happens? The debris needs to go somewhere. It usually rises up to the top initially and settles back if not skimmed off. Love is like the water. It fills your cells and the spaces between your cells. Any debris held in the cellular memory that resists love or needs healing will come to the surface. If nothing is done to the debris, it settles back into the cell memory. In other words, your stuff comes up."

"So what do we do about that? Is there a healing method everyone could use without having detailed training, attunements or initiations?" I asked.

"Absolutely," was the answer.

And that's when he gave me this method for transmuting anything that keeps us from experiencing love, joy and gratitude.

It can be used individually or with a group of people.

It can be used for the environment, a specific issue like the presidential election or an individual healing. There are no limits.

Melchizedek began by practicing it on me.

"We'll begin with you," he said. "Move into your heart space. See yourself standing in a circle with me and my team. The circle is like a clock. You are standing in front of a number around the clock. What is that number?"

"Six," I said immediately. He paused so I could figure out the numerology of six. For me, it's always meant cycles of change. Hmm.

"Now notice that one of my team members is behind you. You may not recognize this team member as you may not have worked with him/her before. Just acknowledge the presence, and ask for a message." He continued. (I call Melchizedek a he, but that's just a term of convenience. He embodies both the masculine and feminine, as do all of his team members.)

I didn't recognize who it was behind me, but the energy was amazing; very strong, compassionate, loving and kind.

I asked for a message.

What I heard immediately was, "Soul Purpose."

Again I had a hmm moment. I wasn't sure where this was all leading, but I knew I was on my way.

Melchizedek asked me if I knew what I wanted to heal in myself. I said I wasn't quite sure, but something had to change. I feel I'm being asked to make a huge step on my life path, and yet continue as co-director of our healing center. How could I do both and still be in alignment with the divine, maintain my sanity and get some sleep?

"Let go of control," Melchizedek said immediately.

Suddenly I was also in the center of the circle as I was still in number six.

I, at six, held my hands palm outward to the me in the center.

So did all the team members in the circle.

We projected energy toward the me in the middle.

The team member behind me sent his energy through my hands to enhance what was being sent.

To help me release control.

As I stood in the center and received, I realized I had taken on most of the control of our center because a) nobody wanted to or was ready to, and b) I could do most of the things required.

As I received this incredible wave of healing that moved through me like that wind, I further realized when someone is willing to take control there is a tendency to attract people who are happy to follow — reinforcing the cellular imprint in both parties.

I could see how this happened. Taking on more and more responsibility; finishing jobs that didn't get done. Feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to change things.

I could also see that I was driven by a faulty belief system that if I didn't do everything, I wasn't good enough.

I didn't like that belief system.

It wasn't always about my needing to control everything. Sometimes people would offer to help and say, "Well what can I do?"

When I'd answer with a list of three or four things, the eyes would glaze over and somehow help was never mentioned again.

Or, a few times there would be a generosity of spirit, but a lack of knowledge or skill.

"I'd love to help you with your marketing," one person said.

But she didn't know the first thing about making a flyer, a brochure, an ad, etc. And she really meant my helping with her marketing.

As Melchizedek's energy and his circle filled me, I could see how this control thing led me to a martyr issue as well.

I caught myself thinking, "I'm the only one who does anything around here because I'm the only one who can."

Attracting people who supported that belief.

Oh great. How's that working for you, Phoenix?

The energy became so intense I had to do several pranic adjustments with my breath, exhaling loudly through my mouth several times, allowing the energy to move through and not get stuck.

Melchizedek said, "Just let it go. See how easy it really is to allow others to support you in a way that works for you."

I thought about what that meant.

I realized I'd been hearing my beloved partner, Leon, and our desk angel, Rev. Nan, both say they wanted more responsibility. They felt left out of the loop. In their eyes, I was refusing their help.

I realized that when people are given the freedom to create things their way, it allows for the divine to flow through each in his/her unique way. Not just my way.

And that's not such a bad thing, is it Phoenix?

"Just let it go. Let go of the old. Let in the new."

I breathed in and exhaled loudly.

Suddenly I had a vision of what I called 'time-consuming tasks' that could be re-vamped with someone else's creativity. Taking less time, less control, having more efficiency. Seeing someone enjoying them instead of feeling an obligation to perform them.

The energy shifted. Lighter now. Less intense. I felt lighter, freer.

The healing felt complete. For now.

Thanking Melchizedek, I stepped out of the circle.

All day long I felt energized and motivated for change. I made suggestions to Leon and Rev. Nan about creating better systems with their help and direction. They were enthusiastic about change and leadership.

I continued to feel lighter and freer.

However, I realize I probably haven't healed the core of this issue.

Soon after the healing, I woke up from a dream where a part of me was crying for help, slowly strangling. Another part stormed out of the house with a gun, saying, "I'm not taking this any more!"

I may need several healing sessions with Melchizedek's team.

Healing separation from source, which is where I believe 'not feeling good enough' comes from.

But for now, I can let go of the old and allow in the new.

Releasing a faulty belief system that wasn't working for me.

To make room for more love.

To make the love work.

To recap the steps for this healing:

• Begin in your heart space.
• Focus the healing on yourself, someone else, the environment, an issue, etc.
• Stand in a circle of twelve numbers. Notice the number where you're standing; there's a significance to it.
• Ask for Melchizedek's team of 12 to surround you outside the circle. A team member will be behind you. Ask for a message.
• Place your palms outward and allow healing to come from your hands for everyone's highest good and healing, projecting toward the object of healing in the center of the circle.
• Allow the team member behind you to send healing through you, making you the channel, and reinforcing the healing.
• Continue sending healing until it feels complete for now. Usually you'll feel a tapering off of energy.
• End by thanking Melchizedek and his team.

Respectfully yours in love, joy and gratitude,
Phoenix Rising Star

For more information on free teleconference meditations to heal yourself and the planet, email sedonaheartwalk@yahoo.com attn. meditations.

Phoenix's Credentials:

M.S. Counseling

Clinical Hypnotherapist

Integrated Energy Therapist, Top 26 Master Instructors, 2006

Reiki/Seichem Master

Medicine for the Earth Facilitator

Angel Therapist

S.H.E.S. Minister (Spirit Helpers and Earth Stewards)

For more information on Your HeartWalk Center in Sedona, AZ, see their website: www.sedonaheartwalk.com

For more information on Integrated Energy Therapy, see their website: www.learniet.com

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