The Spiritual Lessons in Loving Relationships

By Stephen Thomson

Pursuing a loving relationship with another human being is one of life's greatest quests. It begins in early adolescence, motivating and dictating our behavior. For many of us, this part of the life journey becomes an all-consuming passion. The idea of having a loving partner, no longer walking alone, seems to hold a promise that everything will be as it should be, that everything will work itself out. We hold a core belief that another person, their very approach, their essence, will complete parts of us that are incomplete. Consequently, by finding a loving partner we will become whole; we will find peace.

To love another is one of the most important steps on the spiritual path. Personal relationships are the purifier of the soul. A loving partner teaches us about who we as a person and a spiritual being. A relationship asks us to take some one else into account in every move we make. To be with another is to share our power and wealth as beings. We are not absolute and singular in the life journey. It is a conscious act of taking ourselves out of a self-centered orbit, into a new energy field created by two

A loving partner also provides the key to knowing so many parts of us that would otherwise be hidden to us. In the course of a relationship our partner reflects what is good and loving about us, as well as where we need to change and where to grow as human beings. The gift of love and partnership is an experience in finding a deeper understanding and relationship within us, the true basis of our soul journey. To love another provides a window into the soul, a significant gift we all need for the advancing state of our spiritual being.

Personal relationships also bring into focus one of the hardest parts of the spiritual path, the journey within. This is the most private and sacred part of life. In order to know ourselves and advance in our state of consciousness requires time and effort, for the most part alone. To begin realizing and dealing with the dichotomy that exist for each of us between our inner and outside world takes a lot of work. In order to grow and advance, there is a degree of separation from others and the outside world that is required by each of us. When we are in a relationship, the needs of our partner can be all consuming and come into conflict with our spiritual path.

OLD WOUNDS, PATTERNS, DRAMAS

We all need to take time to closely examine our needs, beliefs, as well as our wounds. Our path and practices are the way for us to understand our true desire, the truth about who we are and what we want. Once discerned, getting our truth out into the open can create healing on so many levels of our being. With this information, we are able to move forward with a deeper understanding and confidence of ourselves and our needs. This is the basis of moving forward and consciously finding the love we desire; free of the bonds of our life wounds.

When a relationship ends, rather than experiencing all of the emotions and the range of potential healing that can come with time and introspection, we look for the next friendly face. By doing this we accumulate energy, trapped in our body, which remains in us as we move to the next relationship. Rather than being in a clear and healed place, we begin a relationship anew, wounded and certainly not as strong as we would be if we were to honor ourselves and our life experience by taking time to heal. In effect we arrive at the doorway of a new relationship with suitcases in tow, filled with the residual energy of all the relationships that have come before.

When I entered into my current relationship, the memories of my past, held in the subconscious were activated and my mind was filled with all kinds of sound bites. Some we suspicious, while others relayed the vulnerability of age and each in succession brought a whole range of emotions, one after the next. Fortunately I had the foundation of my own self-healing work that comes from meditation and the psychic message of my teacher. Rather than run, I began to verify everything that was running through my mind with the intent of validating what I was thinking and feeling. One by one, I ticked off my list, only to find that all of what was flying through my mind had no place in the present day or situation.

Much in the same way, we rarely go back through our lives and reexamine the influences that have brought us to our current place on the Spirit path. After all it is as equally important relationship as anything we would experience in the physical, it's just harder to perceive. The images and beliefs of our childhood, the influences of our parents and others we have met and listened to along the way, crowd the corners of our minds, unheard but reaching into every segment of our being. A loving relationship, in a spiritual sense with whatever belief system we hold requires all of the caring, thought and foresight as anything we could experience in the physical. We just never think about keeping our spiritual relationship alive and nurtured, as we do with the person beside us in bed.

Here's an exercise for you to do:

Journal, meditate or contemplate on your prior relationships. This will help you in beginning to examine your patterns in relationships with a loving partner. There are four intentions in doing this:

1. The first involves gaining self-awareness and understanding of your patterns of behavior in loving relationships.

2. Then try to determine how your relationship patterns have more to do with you, than the other person.

3. Identify trends in the types of personalities you attract and bring into your life. We often attract people who become our best spiritual teachers, reflecting to us our core beliefs, tendencies and patterns of reality.

4. Relate your personal loving experiences to your behavior in relationship with the Divine.

Then begin to create new energy with the following visualization:

1. Visualize the details of the physical, spiritual, and emotional attributes of your ideal partner.

2. Include what you have experienced, what you desire and what you are willing to offer a loving partner.

3. Resolve how the relationship will create a positive impact on your spiritual unfolding and path.

DIVINE LOVE

The spiritual journey opens up to us based upon our willingness to release our sense of being all powerful and creator in our lives. It isn't all about us, not really. A relationship in any form is about two people, working toward becoming one. And the primary one, the one we are really after is not with another human being. The effort we put forth to find a personal relationship is a reflection of a deep soul urge for a direct relationship with the Divine. With our first breath and the activation of the physical senses, we begin the earthly sojourn, seemingly cut off from the most important desire of our soul. The gift of personal love becomes an opportunity to conceptualize a relationship with the Divine and through our practices have a first-hand experience.

Several years ago I was in a deeper than usual meditation period. I found myself in a truly sublime, energetic place I had not experienced before. Within a few seconds I experienced a sense of the most overwhelming, loving energy. I was engulfed in a love I never knew before. Trying to describe what I felt would pale in comparison to the actual experience. What I can say is for that brief period of time, I was experiencing pure, Divine love. I had a sense of completeness unlike anything I could begin to compare or relate. There was no longer a subconscious presence, the unheard, silent words in the background of my being. For that instant I was completely united, no longer fragmented by my thoughts of myself or the reflection of others. I was consumed.

After the feeling passed, I opened my eyes. I knew on a deep, soul level, as we can only ever know through meditation, that I had a first-hand experience of the Divine love. I now knew why humankind is always searching for love.

As I continued to reflect on my experience, I came to understand that the sense of peace and harmony, the oneness I experienced in meditation is in each of us. On that level, in the very core of our being, we have an intrinsic understanding and knowing of this love and oneness. It resides as a silent beacon, guiding us in our search of love and reintegration with the Divine. To be one again, by fully experiencing this love, brings each us of into the loving relationship we yearn for. It is the basis of comparison for all that we experience in the physical world.

About Stephen Thomson

Steve Thomson is a writer, teacher, and psychic, well-known throughout the United States. He leads workshops about metaphysical practices, including meditation, expansion of the psychic senses, spiritual magic, the Tarot, and the Kabbala. He also guides journey to sacred sites around the world. For over 20 years, Steve has been a member of the Rosicrucian Order AMORC and a student of Paramahansa Yogananda’s, Self-Realization Fellowship for over 10 years. His book entitled The Secret Key is available through our website. He currently working on a new book entitled Discovering Your Spiritual Truth — A Primer for the Path — Things to Think About, Meditate On and Journal, which will be available by the end of 2007.

You may write Steven personally at Steve@stephenthomson.net
or visit his website: www.stephenthomson.net