About Men

(From our Male Readers)

We want to know what issues you are facing as a man or woman as the world changes. What are you thinking about or how is your role changing?

I see myself as more of a Steward of the Planet. I really want to support life (both my own and those around me — animal, plant, planet, human). I wish I had a way of doing this full time.

I also recognize my heart opening. Being a "Man" is not about shutting down. I am choosing to live from my heart more and more. New habits are being formed.

How are your relationships with others of your same gender changing or growing?

Less confrontation for sure. I find that as I resist what is, what is becomes more fluid and matches my vibes.

How are you perceiving others of the opposite sex?

I still fall in love at the drop of a hat. I think I know why...I long for that feminine aspect of myself to come into balance more...

What issues are you facing as a man as the world changes.

I think my greatest issue is that I seem to have lost interest in the business world and that same business world has been my sole source of income for many, many years. I am afraid that through the law of attraction, I seem to be losing my old business income. Now, I am making a much greater attempt to make a living as an artist. It is a challenge. Yet, quoting from the movie 2010, A Space Odyssey, "Something is going to happen… Something Wonderful is going to happen" I believe.

What are you thinking about or how is your role changing?

I spend a much greater amount of time thinking about my true nature and much less about the superficial (or business) side of me. My personal growth has become very important to me. I am tired of guilt, ego, anger and related things. I would like to say that I have beaten them all down completely but I can't go that far. I can say that I am well more aware of them and gaining a lot of ground with them. I must admit that I really do not see my role changing. My interests and my awareness' are changing… but I do not think my role is.

How are your relationships with others of your same gender changing or growing?

Clearly, one big change is with me. I seek relationships with only other men that are interested in personal growth in a spiritual sense. I simply have no more interest in any old kind of friendships that do not include such spiritual pursuits, etc.

How are you perceiving others of the opposite sex?

My wife and most of our women friends are gathering often as a group or groups with "self realization" and spiritual matters as a center of focus. In my circles, women are taking steps to make things happen and make a difference in the world and promote more meaningful life style.

Best, Michael

What issues are you facing as a man as the world changes. What are you thinking about or how is your role changing?

My struggle is to remain conscious of my connection to all that is. I see in my small world how I am connected and the influence I have on others but my "vision" is limited to my immediate surroundings. My role has changed from being a manager to being a man that helps others see their potential, their obstacles and their healing provided they desire any of these. I am no longer attached to "saving" people. I have come to realize that everyone is free to choose their own path. If they desire that then I help them and that's great and if they do not then that's great as well.

How are your relationships with others of your same gender changing or growing?

I don't see men waking up. They are still very stuck in their egos and their desires. Many are struggling with life and its many facets.

How are you perceiving others of the opposite sex?

Women seem to be more open to change. They are the ones asking for help, questioning "why" and are really interested in changing their situation. They are open to new concepts and possibilities and are freer to move forward.

Marvin Jones
San Antonio, TX USA

I recognized a number of years ago that there was an ongoing "effort" in our culture to "feminize" men, to label us as "male chauvinist pigs", and to also curb our role as "disciplinarian" in the family, ie: "don't spank your kids or punish them in any way — it might hurt their sensitive egos".

Then the "sexual revolution" came along generating all sorts of irresponsible behavior between both sexes including the pre — meditated murder of unborn children and also "no fault divorce" leading to the attitude of avoidance in facing the unresolved problems within both parties that cause conflict.

All of this in a culture that encourages ongoing immaturity through focusing on the external appearance of people and gratification of the physical senses. This has produced disastrous results in this country. Instead of encouraging maturity and responsible behavior and understanding of the beautiful relationship that can exist in a male / female relationship. When the roles of each are maximized and both pursue their joint spirituality in harmony, such a relationship can provide and should provide an opportunity for the whole to become greater than the two individuals by themselves.

Peace.
Ken

In this context, any observations or reflections on the topic come from direct relationships I have with America-based male friends and frequent contacts. This fairly small but broad-based multi-ethnic population is further qualified by the fact I have deliberately limited or rejected contact with other men who overtly or passively support the war against Iraq or the parallel and often synonymous "war on terror" (an absurd and meaningless state propaganda hypnosis trigger-term designed to elicit a manipulable fear-response). I could be wrong, but I tend to think that people who support this direction are extensions of a sizeable but quickly obsolescing trajectory of our culture. I believe strongly in valid self-defense, which is another matter entirely. Also, I feel I have to premise that all of what I say might be my projection, or the fact that what is occurring within this "observer" is magnetizing my "observations" toward that aspect within others of similar inner/outer energy activity.

Among professional associates and friends in this somewhat select population, I think I see or sense (again, "projection"?) a yearning for a social/cultural future that is not necessarily in alignment or total continuity with what might be considered the present or past, and in some cases a strikingly more radical departure altogether.

Within my circles I think I detect a strong willingness at many levels to either "stir the pot" — through outward actions — or be more personally mobile and "contactile" within the presently constituted pot. Profound changes through inner technologies or possibly unintentional spiritual/emotional evolution seem to be bringing about changes in what these guys want for themselves in terms of work/vocation, relationships, political/social progress, self-definition. In this respect, this is continuous with general "progressive" movement forgoing on 4 decades or more. But speaking as a Vietnam War combat vet who is much entangled in these very transformations myself — sometimes at its most intense form in male-to-male friendships and bonds — it seems like an ever-refreshing and ground-breaking way forward. I see my buds as trudging ever onward and upward — these guys who have been in some cases deeply wounded know that there is no home base "out there" somewhere. Light and dark are extreme.

Among male contacts in other categories and age brackets I see analogous aspiration and drive towards changing the mix of things: re-clarifying human needs, then putting technologies at the service of human needs; making peace practical and dynamic rather than "a vacuum where war always was"; expanding the wave-length of interpersonal contacts, seeking emotional intimacy as a value and without fear; not so much "breaking down walls" but swimming through walls. There's certainly a cultural eclecticism. As far as I'm concerned there's a slightly perceptible lessening of unconscious acceptance of the "official line" about anything — whether it be government fabrications of reality, scientific pronouncements, academic trends, advertising blather, news distortions, whatever.

Increasingly, among the population I am generalizing about, I see more men basing their primary sense of authority within their own spirits, making them very much more discriminating, conscious, quick, judicious but less judgmental. Men are trying to de-hypnotize from the decaying cultural spell, find what's new in the freshness of the moment or the situation. There might be a recognition growing that we need to explore and somewhat re-invent ourselves with no ready blueprint provided from outside. And this goes across the board of one's whole life.

I'll put it like this: when I talk in these terms and about these subjects with a lot of other guys in the 35-60 year age category, I get a lot of resonant response.

Jack

I see men these days softening around interaction with other men. I still see ideas being defended. However, in regards to the sensitivities of human interaction I experience more listening and concern. Is this because more men are active in their children's lives than before? Or just the earths move towards the feminine?

There is still the need to be right in most men. There is still the need to be the best. More men live at home. This balances the male stress in the outside world. Women still strive to be as successful as men in every field. Men see women as capable equals. I notice more non-sexual but rather face value between men and women. Though they won't admit it for fear of being labeled, most men are OK with all three types of relationships — Male/Female, Male/Male, Female/Female.

Timothy

1. Some biographical data ahead of everything: I am male Caucasian, was born and grew up in Belgium (Flanders) about 60 years ago. Migrated to Southern Africa and live now in Namibia, about 37 years ago. Married with no children. Strong liaison with the German cultural group through mother and wife. Technical professions in water chemistry and water quality all my professional life.

2. About men:

Society in southern Africa is still culturally separated despite modern statements to the contrary and efforts to eliminate the remnants and consequences of apartheid. As a consequence the 'white' camp — especially the older generation of the autochthon population — moved into the defensive; whereas the 'black' camp gained a lot of self-confidence and climbed to high executive and political positions. The black intelligentsia is still in the formative stage but will be reaching maturity level soon.

Economic/business life is mostly in white decision makers' hand with black executives present but often abused as window-dressing for political expediency and correctness.

Attitudes and activity often dictated by true or pseudo-religiousness: majority is Christian oriented, with Islam on the rise; Judaism and Hinduism remaining more-or-less stable.

Esoteric (New Age) oriented activities on a steep rise but still boycotted by religious groups. Namibia is more progressive in e.g. legalizing non-orthodox medicine and practitioners; in South Africa this recognition is rather limited; but South Africa is more tolerant towards other lifestyle forms e.g. homosexuality. All in all the various forms and systems active in society are very much in transition and may look totally different from today's in say 5-10 years time or even much shorter.

Dominance of the male over the female members of society (including family, or professional life) is still prevalent and motivated by religious doctrine. The stronger the religious influence and societal peer pressure the more stronger resistance to recognizing and accepting the female as an important role player in society, in professional or business life is. This also is the major cause of e.g. the medical professions' resistance against alternative medicine, against healing practitioners or other aspects on the change (e.g. the arrival of new generation children into our society with different needs and perceptions of our world is met with medication often of the Ritalin type, or e.g. cancer treatment with strong chemotherapy, radiotherapy and operative removal of a tumor). Males are generally slow in recognizing that their own attitudes within the marriage framework cause tension, depression, strife often resulting a high rate of divorce and suicide.

3. About women:

Take into account much of what was stated under #2 above. Upon arrival in Southern Africa I was struck by an observation unknown to me from Europe: the voices of adolescent girls and adult women — usually a pitch higher then what I was used to. Which observation led to a perception that this was the consequence of or even result of upbringing into an accepted subservient role of the female sex by that group. Meanwhile a tremendous change has taken place to the extent that what I stated before is or has disappeared by an crude estimation of 50% of members of society of the female sex. Women of all ethnic and social backgrounds are taking up a much more forefront position. In many cases this is entrenched in basic law of most southern African countries — certainly in Namibia it is. As the development of women has been manipulated, suppressed and hindered by males throughout history I believe that the males have to redress this imbalance even it this means sacrificing some our male territory ... However unusual this approach may be — many women are not used to male attitudes or approaches of this kind and view it with some suspicion.

4. Generally speaking I also made observation that with a progressive emancipation of the autochthon black population — right across all layers of society — there are often cases where ignorance mixes with arrogance, not seldom to the own detriment of the perpetrator. The history of males, especially those of European descendance, in human history has not been a brilliant one, rather one of subjugation and leaving a bloody trail. Because of my European background I was opposed to the apartheid policies and tried to assist those victimized — even today seeing that policies have been scrapped from the books of law. However, I found myself often misunderstood and even opposed.

Overall I note an increase in spirituality, slow but surely growing. The American lifestyle, language and information by the powers that be, is seen here as the example and no effort to open eyes to another reality, to lies, to slow but effective indoctrination on all levels, meets with little success.

5. Again to your questions:

We are amidst of changes on all levels. I am literally bombarded with information of all kind so that I cannot digest them all sufficiently — all that information tells me that we have been manipulated for thousands of years by different agencies: our theologies need to be rewritten, our history books need to be rewritten, our medicine books need to be rewritten, etc.etc. I found confirmation of all the thoughts chasing through my mind in "The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life," "The return of Light," and books on or by Mary the Magdalen, The Hathor civilization, the various books/texts written on or dictated by the Christ aka Jesus-Jeshua, What the bleep do we (k)now, etc etc. All of them. I found do not go far enough and stop short of informing on the true origin of the monotheistic religion(s), the true origins and activities of Moses-Mosis-Moshe, the true nature of reality, the real in-depth meaning of statement that we are all one and the consequences of this realization as to our inter-personal relationships, to our prayers to (a) God — whereas all is in fact so simple, truth is always simple.

This situation being what it is — I find it difficult to answer your question about how I face changes in our world — I am bewildered, I am still digesting mentally, I feel extremely small, stand in awe, and yet am so grateful that such information slumbering in me for sixty years now surfacing is triggered into my day-consciousness by my companions on all levels of consciousness. Surely there is purpose for that not yet discovered by me. How much the world is still lagging behind, how have we been manipulated, and still are.

This may not be the type answer you expected for your questions — but me being me I cannot do otherwise.

Kind regards,
Ubuntu, Namibia

My name is Stanislav. I'm a 20 year old man. Writing to you from Almaty city, Kazakhstan. I am grateful to you for informing me bout this poll and I'd like to share my experience with you.

What issues are you facing as a man as the world changes? What are you thinking about or how is your role changing?

Well, as people change their view point the world changes inevitably. And I see the great changes concerning the feminine and masculine energies. At least I had undergone these changes a year ago. At that time Tom de Winter came to Almaty with his workshops, and I translated his speech from English to Russian, participating in different meditations. And at that time Tom showed me that I had a shortage of masculine energy in me. I was more like a girl, and girls noticed this also. Thanks to Tom, I've figured out my deficiencies, although my ego was badly shook. Because of this lack of masculinity I couldn't even have normal relations with girls. Than I understood that a girl does not need a second girl, she needs a real man. And in that case the second girl was me. Than I got down to this process of changing myself. I said to myself: "Ok maybe next time I'm going to choose a feminine body, but if I chose to experience a male body in this life I'll be a full-fledged man, and there are no two ways about it".

After I changed myself, I started to observe men and women more and more. I saw a lot of men with a lack of masculinity, and I saw that women noticed this, needing a real man. I also saw a lot of women who didn't realize their own lack of femininity. Mainly people are not aware of their polarity misbalance, till someone tells them about it. Well even if somebody tells them about it, their ego comes into play and begins to resist. That's why others need to impart this information either softly-softly or abruptly, depending on the situation. In my case it was abruptly, so that my ego was pulled out like a tooth. Both methods are equally efficient.

Nowadays, I see that the balance between females and men becomes sound step by step after 2000 years of patriarchy. And for me it provokes joy inside. Because women are not treated as they are used to be anymore. A very widespread opinion is when a man has sex with many women — it's ok. But if a woman has sex with many men — male representatives call them whores. It's silly, because we are all equal and have equality of rights. I still meet men who think they have rights above women, and I try to do something to change such individuals because I'm an ardent fighter against such prejudice.

But one thing makes me happy, and this thing is the changes which I see gearing up. The balance between two genders are being rehabilitating. And I also watch the importance of it, helping others.

I think men have to come out of the state of harsh masculinity and to listen to women's inner world. A lot of men are scared of balancing themselves. For instance I wear rose T-shirt despite people's prejudice that rose is the female color. I tell them: "I don't give a damn about what others think, I'm a destroyer of the old system, and the builder of a new system. I can wear a rose T-Shirt acting like a real man inside and rose color does not embarrass and perplex me". And then they begin to really ponder on this. My friend is scared to wear rose things, he can't ride a yellow bicycle and he couldn't even drink "Fanta" because it's yellow. He thinks these colors are for girls. You see? Men have a lot of prejudices about what to do and what not to do. While female are much more simple in their attitude to this issue. That's why we all need to balance feminine and masculine fields inside of us. That's why we need to get rid of so many prejudices!

How are your relationships with others of your same gender changing or growing?

It goes as usual for me, and day by day it's getting better! I try to bring in more understanding between me and other males I communicate with.

How are you perceiving others of the opposite sex?

Nowadays women are beginning to manifest their equality with men. They are starting to demand from males to be a real man. Women even pass ahead in many areas in which males used to be first. In other words all I see is the greatest changes. And I sincerely rejoice at it!

I'm going to do my best to assist in these world's changes and I'd like as many people possible to join to this fascinating process!

Thank you,
In love
Stanislav, Kazakhstan

I'm a young researcher in quantum physics, currently wandering through Europe and its multicultural societies, changing countries every two or three years. I'm also a healer. I practice different kinds of massage, and I'm quite sensitive to surrounding emotions. All this adds wonderful dimensions to my exchanges with others, as well as some difficulties. I would not say I'm gay, though I'm much more attracted to men than to women. All my relationships are based on the case-by-case affinities that I feel with the persons I meet, and I let these affinities lead the dance. Thus it is impossible to predict what will happen, and I'm perfectly fine with this. I've not shared my intimacy with a woman yet (well, a few times, that was not far), but the door is ajar.

People who try to classify me always fail, and I know that my relationships are really puzzling and disturbing for them. The word "homosexuality" is a nonsense to me. First because sexuality is not the point, then because it implies a dualistic and restrictive perception (hetero/homo) which overlaps way too much with religious and social conditioning (good/bad), and last because it does not reflect reality at all. We do have to find better ways of addressing the topic, and it has to be a collective effort. In this respect, I would like to thank CC Treadway and her guides very warmly for the channeling on "The Gift of Same-Sex Unions" in the April 2007 issue of The Spirit of Ma'at. This is indeed a great start, and I feel too that there is a lot more to come.

By meeting people of different cultures on a daily basis, I've very quickly dropped my prejudices about almost everyone and everything, in particular relationships. Let's call it a "highly-multidimensional environment", for there are numerous parameters playing together all the time, and one has to be present and careful in order to maintain harmony in these relationships, be they simple friendships or more intimate ones. As far as relationships between men are concerned, I've realized that Western countries have a lot to learn from the rest of the world. For instance there is a lot more affection, tenderness and respect in what I share with my friends from South America, Iran, Pakistan, or Africa — and the men are not gay — than even with my family. The images conveyed by the media is so far from reality that they bring me sometimes to a state of abyssal perplexity.

Healing has always been a major component of all my relationships, and "emotional starvation" is a very good summary for what so many men suffer from, at least that's what I perceive. My high sensitivity to emotions keeps me safe from such a thing, and gives me a very strong desire to help all these men as much as I can. And if you're not gay it will be very difficult for you to imagine the permanent and incredible level of frustration they have to face everyday in addition to that. In the case of women everything is often much easier, as they just have to "let it go". They heal faster and better than men simply because they have not sealed their emotions deep inside impregnable fortresses. Their most precious gift to me is their showing me that there are so many simple ways to heal, which are available here and now to everybody if we just listen to our intuition.

The way I structure my relationships is extremely far from the unidimensional array of compartmented, well-defined and carefully-labeled little boxes many people are so addicted to. For the sake of simplicity, I will just take an example: for them friendship and intimacy are mutually exclusive and obey to different sets of rules, while for me they are like two islands bridged by the affinities of the moment. I can freely go back and forth between the two of them, and I consider this as a great gift from Life. When a relationship needs to evolve, there is nothing to "break", because their is no prison, and thus the process is reversible. Both partners clearly feel it and just adapt. Clear communication is a key ingredient, and I definitely want to continue to improve this aspect in the future.

Concerning the perception of same-gender intimate relationships by the rest of the society, I've noticed that something has dramatically changed by the turning of the year, just like an instant switching from one perception to another, which I attribute to a critical-mass effect, probably closely linked to the return of the Divine Masculine. I can currently distinguish three levels in this change: first an overall increase in awareness that the question is about feelings — not sex — before everything else, then the realization that it is fully compatible with "normal" relationships both socially and at work and, last but not least, the understanding that they have an important spiritual role to play. This change is just starting to come to manifestation, and it will take a lot of time before it makes its way through all the layers of false beliefs many persons still desperately stick to, but it is now clearly on the move and will propagate as a chain-reaction.

This evolution of the perception was already in the air for quite some time, and I was impatient to see it become visible to the naked eye. But now it makes me feel not comfortable at all, for it puts a great pressure on me to assume and express more boldly and more transparently who and what I am. I love discretion, yet I clearly feel that the time has come to share what I have to share and to make it available to many.

"Transformation" is the keyword of the current period of time, and 2007 seems to have brought it very suddenly to a much higher level of strength. Some may fear that it will bring chaos. I see however more and more signs of maturity emerging in all kinds of relationships, be they at home, at work, with other cultures, other living beings, or with the planet itself. I'm very glad of it and highly confident about the future, even if there are still a few stones on the road and a good deal of work for everybody.

With Love and Affection,
Gianni