EMAILS FROM FRIENDS

What Our Readers Have to Say About Relationships

Introduction

When we sent out the email announcement asking our readers to give us their take on relationships, none of us were prepared for the amount of feedback we got. It has been an amazing and moving experience reading what everyone has to share.

Our original plan was to use these messages to provide us with insight into how people are processing the shift in the relationship paradigm. The thought was that we would summarize all of your ideas and form them into an article — but it didn't work out that way! The response was so overwhelming and each letter seemed so precious and so full of heart felt emotion, we decided not to tinker with perfection and just print them out in their raw form.

Because the volume of letters was so enormous, (We received close to 1000 emails) everyone's message is not included here — If we printed them all, this article would be more like a book! But please know that every single one of them was read, (sometimes in the wee hours of the morning!) and every single one of them was appreciated.

This article is from all of you, and it is for all of you. As you read it you will be inspired by your own words and by the words of like-minded Souls from every part of the world. There is no way to express our gratitude for your willingness to share your Truth and your experience with us, but words will have to do —

From our hearts we thank you ALL, for being who you are and for your beautiful contribution.

The Staff at the Spirit of Ma'at

Hi, I live in Sydney and work as a kinesiologist... I don't want my name quoted but I am very interested in the subject of relationships because so many of my clients are single or in miserable relationships. I know of some good relationships but the "bad" ones outnumber the good. I don't think there has been in the history of the world a time with more single people than at present. I'll just offer some thoughts and observations I have noticed over the years, make of them what you will.

Even though everyone is pursuing the goal of a happy relationship very few people seem to be able to cultivate intimacy. I think Hollywood stereotyping has done a lot to confuse people about what a relationship is all about and I think love making has been reduced to sex and most people cannot achieve intimacy through it anymore. Women as well as men suffer from performance anxiety these days. People have distorted views about their bodies which prevent a lot of people from relaxing in sex. The emphasis on image in today's society engenders a notion that the surface is as important, or even more important than the depth of a person or their character. Most people want depth but fewer and fewer know how to cultivate it in themselves or to draw it from another.

The emasculation of men is another trend I have noticed; the "metrosexual" tendencies in society now, depolarizes sexual attraction. Very few women want a "soft" man for a partner, even though most women want a compassionate man. Even though it is great, (necessary in fact) for men to go into their hearts, most of them lose their balls in the process. There are very few good role models around for men these days as well...in Australia, the Prime minister is a famous liar, in the US you have a similar situation, movie stars like George Clooney supposedly embody the "masculine" but in fact they are narcissistic, face lifted and feminized with little respect for the feminine. The confusion for men these days is a challenge. So many men have forgotten how to be in their masculine power. The new man is slowly coming into view with the work of pioneers in the field like David Deida, whose work on intimacy is the most important and useful to emerge from the "crisis in masculinity". But because too few people understand how sexual polarity works in attraction in human beings, there are more and more frustrated couples on the planet. The number of men I know in relationship who don't or can't keep their word is just one example of the corruption of the masculine...there was a time when a man's word was law, yet these days men are not encouraged to keep their word. Power favors the liar, with Rupert Murdoch, Henry Kravis, and the "smartest guys in the room" at Enron being just a few examples; (When it is taken for granted that all men in public office will lie, as it is in Australia, the effect trickles down)...yet without this basic tenet in place a woman can never trust a man and without trust their can be no depth of intimacy. (I cannot tell you the number of women I have spoken to who don't trust their partners because they don't do what they say or keep their word.)

Society today is more infantile than ever before. Short term gratification is the order of the day in everything from sex to GNP. I wonder how you can make a society more adult. In the past it was going to war, a solution I don't recommend. Yet it is often only when we stare death in the face that maturity and appreciation of life follows.

I have to go out now and I offer these thoughts on the run...I look forward to your article.

Here's my take on relationships right now - Please take into account that I live in NYC, I am 32, with a peer group that reflects my interests: healing, spiritual evolution, and an awakened heart.

To me, when I look around my social circles I see that the relationships directly reflect the evolution and belief system of each individual. This is not news. What is perhaps newer is that more and more, people are waking up to their purpose, waking up to the longing for a more balanced Divine Feminine, and more recently, Divine Masculine, within, and in the relationship. I am seeing so much action on the part of both individuals, in being true to them selves, committed to their growth individually, and as a team. Should the higher purposes of the team not line up, then the relationship ends. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of wiggle room for conflicting life tasks. The men struggle to play 'catch up', as the Divine Feminine has a bit of a lead on them. But I feel much support in the universe, especially in the last few months, for the template of the Divine masculine. For my few friends who are not as committed to the growth path, I see them more able to maintain stable relationships. In most cases they are married, and all of them have the feeling of being held back. They are frustrated with the lack of movement, but don't know how to operate differently. However, they are generally happy and have a deep respect for commitment and for each other, and I see a lot of value in this.

I know there are many other relationship expressions going on in the world, but this is what I am seeing closest to me.

With Love,

CC

CC Treadway

Video Editor*Healer*Artist

www.cctreadway.com

Having been married 27 years, I was totally thrown when a Canadian hockey coach of mine talked about his "partner" some 7 years ago. That was an entirely new concept that had never occurred to me. I was basically the one who was responsible for everything in my marriage -house repairs, car maintenance, raising the kids, finances. I was usually the "giver" and my spouse the "taker." The resulting avalanche of awareness was one my spouse refused to graduate to and my marriage ended in divorce. At this point in my life, I would accept nothing less than an equally responsible, viable partner who doesn't seek to be cared for as much as to care for another. Mothering a spouse gets old when you've spent much of your life mothering children. I don't know a single married woman with children, no matter how happily married, who says she'd remarry if something happened to her spouse. There's not enough freedom in marriage for most women - it's way too confining and restricting. Most women are socialized to be "givers" at the expense of their own selves. When I was a child, I swore I would never get married. But then my spouse refused to live with me unless we got married, so I finally gave in at 25 (although I fainted dead away at the alter). True partnership, in every sense of the word, is the only type of relationship I'd consider at this point. Life is too short to spend as a plow horse. I'd rather run wild through the prairies, tossing my mane in the wind, flaring my nostrils, and kicking up my heels at the sunbeams glancing off my polished flanks. If I find someone to gallop with along the way, that would be wonderful, but I won't run in anyone's shadow anymore. Freedom to be who I am, do what I want, and go where I the spirit moves me from day to day, is much more delectable to me than companionship for its own sake.

Yes, I'd like to get in on the discussion about relationships. I have certainly seen huge changes in my lifetime of 75 years! When I got married at the age of 18 it was a time when you were supposed to do that - marry young and stay married for life - no matter what! You kept house, took care of your kids, hid your bruises and kept your mouth shut. Relationships had to mean more than that! As I have always been a curious person, I kept myself sane by reading, reading, reading - lucky for me I was in Virginia and had access to the ARE and Edgar Cayce's reasoning and just plain old common sense! To celebrate my 40th wedding anniversary I went to see a lawyer and signed my divorce papers, then went and bought an electric typewriter and went back to school and fulfilled my lifelong dream of becoming a minister. I currently serve a 100+ year old Spiritualist Church in the beautiful rolling hills of north-central Kansas. Back in the early 1990s I started learning about Sacred Geometry and learned the Mer-Ka-Ba meditation from Drunvalo. In one of the several workshops I took from him I remember someone asking him about the 'modern day' changes in relationships. He said that things were so much in change because many are finishing "old business' or in other words, finishing unfinished Karmic situations. Time is getting short and people without even realizing it, are getting ready for these Earth Changing times. Marriage is not so important anymore as it is to just come into contact with people we need to spend some time with, settle Karma, and move on to the next. One of the first things I noticed when I started living in my Mer-Ka-Ba full time was the change in all of my relationships - some people I had been struggling with to try to 'please' or make excuses for, I just no longer felt I needed in my life at all. My family - I still love and care for, but they don't believe in what I now do, so I just love them and let them be free - they are on their path and I am on mine. I find any moment I spend with any loved one is a precious moment in time, to be cherished and then released to Spirit. Friends and also students and clients come and go in my life, important for the time we have together and for the lessons we each have for one another, and then released. Over the last 20 years I truly cherish the few fellow travelers along the same path that I travel for companionship is a true Gift from God. I do not judge nor worry about my friends, children or grandchildren and their different relationships: marriages, divorces, just living together, gay relationships, etc. I love them and accept them all as they come and go in their different Sacred Geometric patterns around and about me. I am at peace.

In Love and Service,

Rev. Evadne Tuxhorn

Meta Life Center, Lindsborg, KS 67456

evadne@ks-usa.net

Hi!

In response to your forthcoming April magazine it seems to me that the most important relationship one can have is the one with your self. Everything we are or believe we are is expressed in everything we do or don't do. From loving or loathing ourselves, this covers all the different aspects of our individual likes and dislikes, how we feel about a multitude of issues, both personnel and universal. We can be in many different moods, especially now with all the changes, new and old lessons popping up so unexpectedly we are acting in ways that are very strange to ourselves. As the old habits are brought to our attention, and the new ones presented, the experience is often downright confusing and overwhelming.

That is why it is so important to learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are. Right now with no exceptions, no waiting till this or that happens or some other experience that we think may make us a better person. To learn to love and accept yourself right now with all the "faults" we perceive we have is the greatest love of all.

The relationship we have with ourselves is then transformed. From here we go on with our life making a difference with every person we meet, our friends, our family, all everyone. Even the people we talk to on the phone can tell by the vibrations we send over the air waves how we respond to the conversation.

In loving and accepting ourselves, this positive approach can be passed on in so many different ways that really can make a difference in our relationships and then it is passed on and on and on.

I gladly participate here.

At this stage in my life I understand that all our relationships tell us so much about how we evolve in our personal growth towards unity and oneness.

It is the mirror reflecting back to us.

Our deeper issues will meet us through the relationships in our lives and the way we handle the pleasant and not so pleasant experiences. The more our consciousness grows the more any relationship can be a stepping stone for us to evolve into a higher consciousness, once we accept our responsibility and are willing to let go of old structures. Our deepest hidden emotions and beliefs will show us the way once we turn inwards and listen to them and the story they have to tell, and than we can let go.

Ultimately the Sacred union within ourselves, the ultimate relationship, will transform our own world and the world of those around us for we will understand that we are whole. When we start clearing our pathway to the Sacred Love within our hearts we will know who we are and from this place will intend to act in harmony with the well being of our Mother Earth and all existence.

The growing peace within ourselves will reflect in the relationships that we will have for they will reflect harmony. We will understand that it is truly the Breath of our Creator flowing through all there is.

And this Breath is Sacred Love.

My blessings,

Silvana De Groot

Hi Spirit of Maat.

I kept attracting the wrong men to me and was married for 10 years only to find out my husband cheated on me with men and women.

After doing the flower of life workshop and listening to a lot of Drunvalo's teaching, I realized I wanted a man who comes from his heart charka, So I divorced my husband was a single parent for ten years with four children, the whole time I was focused on raising my consciousness level with the Merkaba Field and learning Sacred Geometry helped me to connect with nature and the whole, that we are all one . I could never get it before Sacred Geometry.

So now I have attracted a kind generous, loving, gentle, high vibrational energy, loyal, committed angel from heaven who comes from his heart. So Drunvalo says its who you are that matters and how you live your life, he is just the teacher but he taught us the qualities compassion loyalty love etc and that's what I focused on and tried to live and work my stuff out and my perfect relationship manifested five years ago. I am married again and perfectly happy. The children adore my new husband too Thanks To FOL teaching and Drunvalo. He is the best teacher in the world for people to grow.

Hope my story helps Kiya Willis Australia.

I would be very interested to read what others have to say about this subject and I hope you will gather enough views to be able to draw some interesting conclusions.

I was confiding in a friend recently about the meaning of love and relationships - a very personal view. The occasion was a large gathering for a dinner party and my friend was the host. Half way through the dinner the host put me on the spot and tapping his glass said: "Listen everyone, I want you to hear what Henry has to say about love - it is very important". Since my previous comments in private were spontaneous and not rehearsed, my words came out all wrong when forced to speak 'publicly'. So next day I wrote down what I had meant to say and sent that to my fellow guests. Here is what I wrote:

These three guidelines come from my own experience and are genuine.

1. Give love to everyone and every living thing. I don't mean that you need to physically kiss and cuddle everyone that you meet, but metaphorically it is possible to do that by projecting love and kindness. When you do that I guarantee that your life will change for the better (and you are likely to change other people's lives for the better too).

2. Learn to let go of negative thoughts. The sometimes rocky path to happiness can be smoothed by forgiveness. If someone has wronged you, in your opinion, it is normal to resent them afterwards and if the matter remains unresolved that resentment may grow into hatred and last a lifetime. What started out as a rational emotion can easily become an irrational and debilitating condition. That creates negative energy in your self (you can become physically sick) and often for those around you too. Learn to let go and to forgive even those who have wronged you. I say the following out loud to myself three times and with real conviction: "I forgive you, totally and without recourse." The effect of this can be incredibly positive. You don't have to start liking that person again thereafter (although that often happens), but you will have released all the negativity associated with that event or relationship and can then get on with your life.

3. Apply unconditional love in your relationships. Don't look for perfection in your partner (and do overlook their imperfections). Easy to say, but it took me 45 years and countless relationships to come to these conclusions and several more years to learn how to put them into practice and the rewards for me have been bountiful. Unconditional love means that you give it without any expectations of reward or even reciprocation and that is the secret to its success. The fact is that by giving unconditional love you lay the ground for unhindered growth and development in your partner. If you take a withered flower and give it the perfect soil medium, water and sunlight and protect it from parasites, chances are that it will grow into a beauty. If you pick up a neglected, mangy stray dog from the street and give that animal all your affection and the right nutrition and environment, chances are that within a short time it will stand up straight, grow a healthy coat of hair and a happy disposition. People are just like that too. Sometimes the effect of giving unconditional love can be astonishing.

Let it be said that of course, if your partner doesn't respond positively over time and you can't live with that, you should finish the relationship, but do so in the knowledge that you gave it the best possible shot.

That's my two pennies worth. I go through each day with a permanent smile on my face and I love every moment of my life. By projecting this well-being onto everyone I meet I find that 'relationships', even fleeting encounters, are more fulfilling.

Love and light,

Henry Quick

Chiang Mai

Thailand

Hi Cal,

Below are my ramblings on relationship.

Alchemy Of Transmutation

Relationships can be divided into several categories. Our first experience being genetic relationships, where energetically we attract, consciously or unconsciously our first involvement with other human beings. Our relationships expand continuously from there, according to wants, needs and desires and indeed in the process we begin to desire sexually based involvement with others. In history this usually centered around family, comfort and/or security as we set out to find the mate which led us to feel good and complete us in some way. This is changing NOW.

All relationships can be said to be an energetic attraction of soul quality. Soul being our record of movement, as individuals. Several layers of soul exist, for each of us, in all realities simultaneously. Accessing our own individual soul resistance and transmuting (changing permanently) this with forgiveness, offers freedom to create relationships in LOVE.

Dependent ~ Independent ~ Interdependent

These categories bleed into one another, and also we may find ourselves moving back and forth, not necessarily from one to the next like a graduation.

When we are experiencing dependency in relationship there is little willingness to change, and the static relationship seeks to survive by holding on to more of the same.

Entering independence we begin to be self responsible, changing the rules of the game dramatically. The ownership, manipulation and blame begins transmutation, and hence relationships with others are based more on personal freedom, love and respect.

Interdependence happens when enough emotional patterns have been transmuted, so instead of unconsciously attracting our own resistance in the form of relationship, we may then make a conscious choice to love and respect.

How do we do that? I call it the alchemy of transmutation:

With your inner vision form a triangle of ~ specific memory, the emotions that go with the memory and the words associated with these. Not as an observer, but as a participant, be in the body of the memory, and RE- EXPERIENCE and RELEASE.

It does not matter which one of the three comes first, take what comes first and add the other two.

Ask yourself, when have I felt like this before? This allows the unconsciousness to give you the conscious awareness of what is still being held.

When all three aspect are present, simultaneously (this is the trick), offer yourself any forgiveness needed, feeling what you feel, with love. If you're angry, feel good and angry, encompassing ALL with LOVE. In other words, don't try to feel love instead of anger. The love is always present, and when access it, we transmute the resistance, then what is left is LOVE.

When resistance is released, we become free of unconscious programming, allowing ourselves more freedom of personal choice. We may then choose loving harmonious relationships.

Illa Lang

www.flower-of-life.ca

RELATIONSHIPS

According to my own experiences, in the past the people tended to relate to others through their emotions. The emotional body of the woman is male, while that of the man is female, and thus we attract a partner that matches our inner archetype - male or female. When we are conscious of the relationships that we establish and give love to others, we can become aware of emotional patterns and acquire the power to dissolve cycles of repetitive events.

In our surroundings, family, friends, colleagues, partners, lies the ego we must transmute, because they are the image of us, and each of them carries a fragment of our own personality. To better our relationships in our world right now, we must first learn to relate to ourselves, embracing our weaknesses of character, avoiding judgment of others' actions, unifying our inner selves, and becoming one with others.

Separation - feeling away from the whole - is the cause of conflicts in relationships and the consequence of hindrance of creative energy. When we establish relationships from the heart there is no separation, because it is then when all antagonism disappears and we become one with the whole.

Relationships are perhaps the most complex idiom of them all. In my experience right now I feel I have worked so hard on all the elements of excelling my Spirit and Self and that relationship of "oneness" is the next thing that is up front for me. As I have found someone recently that I believe I can make a go at it... I find that I don't know what "It" is. Every idea of how I think togetherness is according to my upbringing, education, soul searching and independent experimentation lead me to a dead end. Every preconceived concept of what the experience is supposed to look like gets in my way. So, now the only door hat seems to be open is the one of NO expectation. True unconditional surrender and Trust that God has the way mapped out for me. How hard this really was, and still is, to act out completely. I see that it is now my only work to do what I can about it. A place of quiet and peacefulness-another "Eye of the Needle" that is occurring on every level. As I allow this path to unfold I see the beauty and experience more "oneness" than ever with myself, God and my partner.

How freeing this is to let go of old paradigm in this realm of relationship. Even if this is the only thing I get out of it. It is a crucial first step (and daily practice) and I am excited to be headed toward zero point and come out someplace new.

As we focus on creating a planet of love, joy and peace, I see relationships changing to be equal, loving relationships. The old master/slave is leaving the planet, slowly and doggedly. But everywhere we see signs of a new paradigm. All the 'hot spots' of the planet are generally where inequality is pervasive. These are being stirred up so the new relationship of respect, honor and integrity can flourish. Personal relationships, religious affiliations, business relationships, relationships with the environment and even government relationships are affected. Isn't it a great time to be alive on the planet?

Our job is to stay in our hearts, focus on what kind of relationships we want to create and allow.

Thanks, Karen A. Bowen

THE QUALITY any relationship is based on the participants knowledge of THEMSELVES AND HOW THOROUGHLY THEY UNDERSTAND THEIR OWN HUMMANITY---- OR DON'T-------- the most ignored aspect of CHRIST'S teachings is the ABSOLUTE NECESSITY to be willing to face the BRUTAL --- HUMBLING --- TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF ---- INCLUDING ALL THOSE SECRETS HELD DEEP WITHIN YOUR HEART ----- until you do that ---- you simply cannot ---- LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF ---- but if you are willing to do that ---- you truly can be concerned about everyone on planet earth ---- because they all are truly YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS ----------

Peace Ken

Aloha! What a very good idea to let people write about their experiences with love and relationships. I hope I understand this well!

For me there are different kinds - hold on close by - or with distance in between.

The more close, the more complicated and enriching. That was for me, normal for a lot of years. Now I experience people often on the same level of thinking and feeling that you feel at home after a very short time, more than with the people you think you know well - you talk then in the same heart language!!

With my growing consciousness, with the feeling of unconditional love for my self, the dolphins are my favorite teachers on this level. I remark because (for the last 10 years) I always try to see God in each other and in each contact, at every moment, knowing that this creates almost always a sphere of goodness and a form of relaxed contact, without judging and with respect for each other.

I have had a lot of relationships with men (8). With one I was only married for 3 years, and my last love, (the 9th) we know each other for 4 years now and we grow great. The first 2 years I have experienced as a kind of Hell, through my pain. I hold the feeling, he was and is very special, so I hold on, with a lot of pain and still more tears. I read every day in one of the books by Marianne Williamson, pray, and was honest about my feelings, not trying to be strong, but to show my feelings and express my own walls from accepting, not to do everything to hold him close, not at all. I say to him what I experience as Truth! It helps, and after 2 years we grow now in a very intimate connection long distance - we do not live together. For is this is great - freedom and connection - beautiful!

All my relations grow because of my love for my self, and this is totally different from who I was in the 70's. I tried suicide the hard way - springing from the 7th floor of my apartment. I am still alive and it is my intention to show everybody the way to her or his heart in my 'Bureau Stand Up' - which means believe in your self, Stand Up, and be in your self the change you want to see in the world. That is my message and intention to everybody, to help create a world of harmony, in Light and Love.

My world has changed from the moment I began to try to see God in each other! When this seems impossible because of murder and killers of people all over the world, then I take a kind of distance of my feelings of sadness and start sending Love and Light so I can feel free of the sadness and accept All That Is.

Thank you for your interest. I wish you good luck and I hope to read something about this all on a moment.

From heart to heart, with Love and Light,

From Liesbeth van den Brandhof

www.Bureau-Sta-Op.nl

This is an unusual thing to speak about. I'm single, 52, and as of this writing, I'm really not concerned with conventional relationships. Spiritually, I feel that it is essential for all of us to do GOOD THINGS whenever we can. I have a feeling of great satisfaction when I can do something for a stranger, and help them along the way. I really expect nothing in return from them, except a feeling of thanks, a thanks that there are beings here that do things selflessly, just to feel good, to feel human. I've had 2 near-death experiences, one of which was a serious car accident where I skidded off the highway and into some oak trees. It took the EMT'S about 1 and 1/2 hours to extricate me from my truck. I escaped with minor injuries, and I will attest to all who ask about it

"THERE ARE GUARDIAN ANGELS". Funny thing, my intimacy with the spiritual always comforts me when I need it. It may not always be what I'd like, but it feels like I am always being watched over.

I don't really know if this applies to your request, but I feel that I should share this with someone. Faith and love are intangible. My cousin, the engineer, would refute this, but a brick is tangible, it simply has no soul!

WADE.

In response to your call for sending a mail about my view on relations:

For me a relation is that what I can feel when my energy field touches the energy field of another living being.

Of course this counts for my love one, for my friends and close relatives, because in contact with them I am fully aware of their being.

Walking on a railway station, however, the experiences are super fluid and I am hardly aware of what is streaming all around me.

In the contacts with my patients, the energy-information exchange is very important. In psychiatric patients the chakras are almost closed, unable to download their incarnation energy. Often they are fighting a constant battle with an alien entity. Using the second ray energy of love and wisdom, it is in most cases possible to contact the soul-energy of the patient and after removing the alien visitor, the heart-chakra opens a bit and a workable relation for therapy is born.

In recent years, more often I meet young persons having serious trouble in finding their place in the world in which they are born. But it strikes me when I see that they almost closed their chakras in order not to feel the pain, but they show a full, open, and bright heart chakra. It is always easy to contact these persons and use their love stream to heal their energy obstructions and make it fluid again.

In love, Paul

Thanks for the invitation to participate.

My heart is being fairly constantly tested as to my unconditional love for ALL.

I'm still clearing the knee jerk learned responses like, "how can you do this to ME?"!

Learning to communicate without fear and/or anger and taking responsibility only for my own reality seem to be the skills necessary to navigate this white water raft race.

Also staying in the now, letting go of what is past with forgiveness, and avoiding creating future expectations.

I see the future of relationships being without the formal structures and expectations of the past (like having to hate your ex who cheated etc!) with truly free love. My children have taught me so much!

Love

Gillx

Having just joined the list I can certainly say that this is a synchronistic topic! Personally I realize the true connection I have with everyone and everything that I encounter in my reality. My relationships are definitely something that I value as they are one of the greatest mirrors for me. Having recently moved more into my Heart Space on a moment-to-moment basis I bring this energy into my experiences.

This heart energy is so powerful and combined with a deep breath can bring stillness to any situation. I suppose I am treating my relationships as I would any other manifestation/creation/attraction of mine - simply as a part of me. I love myself completely and therefore love my relationships completely.

No matter if what I see seems "wrong" (to my polarized mind) I know it's a part of me and give thanks. This recently made a dramatic change to my relationship with my mother, so I trust and know this to be true.

Peace, JD

Greetings!

What my experience has taught me up to now about love and relationships:

By letting the people I love in my life be accepted as they are; trusting them and not trying to control their lives, always having an open heart, being truthful and showing them I am always there for them. Always have compassion and understanding and above all "Don't Judge". Since I have taken that attitude with my relationships, they have become harmonious and loving.

Love and Light

Sally

Relationships - My experience (Female, 50, Caucasian, German nationality, living the last 25 years in Mexico, in a relationship for 16 years with a Mexican man, 4 children, profession: healer-guide-psychotherapist, living the alternative life in nature, on a ranch)

What I have learned up till today, a Resume:

1. I tried to be a Samaritan in 2 relationships with alcoholics, and as long as the impulse to heal does not come from them, it's a waste of time, energy and money to try to change them. The more I tried, the angrier I got, the less I was interested in the relationship, rather focusing on my success to make my partner "normal". Only after participating in the Al-Anon groups I became aware of my own situation and the problems I had caused to myself and other family members, and - yes - to the addict partner. After years of "practicing separation" and "independence", I finally succeeded with my second partner, and now he is an in-active alcoholic and hasn't had a drop since April 1rst 2003.

2. That the topic of sex can be a drag. He needed much more of the sexual encounters than I did. After 4 children and lots of professional activity and also financial upheavals, I felt like worn out and not interested in the erotic action any more. I am still wondering if it has to do with his 12 years of alcoholism, where so many humiliation and sufferings were experienced. Or is it my age (50)? For 3 years we came to a more-or-less sensitive agreement that my partner Benjamin will not insist on sex, and he sleeps now in his own bedroom. That excludes his feelings of being rejected to a certain degree. I still am not happy with this situation as I need hugs and tender touches which are scarce... and he sometimes makes a bitter comment about not "getting anything from me".

3. What is Love today? Love is Service as David says, I am serving all humans I encounter on a daily basis, be it with a smile or a therapy, or some positive words, make them smile, or at least do not offend them when something has bothered me. What is Love today in my relationship? I treat my partner as my friend.

4. Love in my relationship means now that the expectations towards my partner have been lowered, I KNOW more about how he is and do not EXPECT other than how he really is and will think and act the best way. Whenever the frustration might crawl in, I remember the many wonderful phrases, and step back and breathe deep so not to attack him ( he does not read books at all and this has frustrated me lots). And in case I do attack, afterwards and with a clear mind, I apologize.

5. I do not know if I still will be with him in 10 or 20 years. Its more on a daily base I take things. There is much more trust now between us, because I am trusting myself more and feel accompanied by my Light Beings and God. Its a matter of fact to me now, not something far away and inaccessible - I feel loved and therefore, secure. If Death comes today, so be it. I have done the Best I could till NOW.

That's all I can say in this moment. I am happy and every day a bit more!

My ex-fiancé decided to end our 4.5 year relationship on Jan. 21. It's been a long time coming, really. The passion and true spiritual connection we had fostered and shared had dwindled by late August last year. Our son, Jasper, was born on 12-21-05, and we're dealing with everything on our own; we don't want to go to court to settle anything, because it would take away our personal power to continue to work together for his sake. We continued to live together and sleep in the same bed up until yesterday (3-1-07) when I moved out. The previous night she awoke from a nightmare. She was breathing heavily, and I could sense that the dream (though she wouldn't say) was bringing her closer to understanding this transition we are all going through. She latched on to me with the mightiest bear hug imaginable, sobbing, rocking. After her fear was assuaged we continued to cuddle and hold hands, and for the first time I thought that perhaps my intention and positivity I've attempted to muster was going to keep us together. We ended up having sex for the first time in a while. I got her to climax before I attempted to penetrate her, but when I did she had a tortured look on her face. I asked her if she was regretting what was happening, and she said, "Yes." I stopped. The next day (yesterday, 3-1) was awkward for both of us. I felt that it was time to stretch our proximity to each other — open wounds don't heal when they're reopened day in and day out, and that was what was happening with us living together. For the past two years I've sacrificed my personal career goals to help her finish her art education degree. We wanted to raise our son ourselves, so I continued working in the restaurant industry, because of the schedule flexibility. I graduated last June with a degree in Sculpture, and have had a couple of great opportunities slip away because of our relationship being as it was. I have a job interview on this coming Monday with one of those missed opportunities, and I know in my heart that the universe will eventually grant me my wishes. I feel as though I am playing two hands of cards in the same game. In one, I am optimistic and positively intending, feeling as though I already have what I want, and that this family will remain nuclear (as mine is; she comes from a broken home). In the other I am protecting my puny little ego from hurting so much, and ruminating over how she has used me to further herself (and to potentially move far away). She has no intention whatsoever of keeping Jasper away from me, and I've told her that I want him half of the time, which she is fine with. I can only pray for her now. I dishonored the Divine Mother that is my ex. Perhaps I should have extricated myself from selfish actions I knew at the time would only separate me from her sooner, back in August, and perhaps we wouldn't be where we are now. But alas, everything happens as it should, and I really wonder if there is much free will in any of us. We can only know and feel what we want, and let time do the revealing of our deepest, strongest, loving desires. I've let the universe know what I truly want out of all of this, and all I can do now is let her go for a while. You have to risk love to keep love. We will still see each other several times a week because we share our blood in little Jazzy. We truly are connected in eternity through him. She taught me so much about my Self and my purpose, and I am grateful to have her in my life. She seems to float between the Earth and the Heavens; partially exempt from rules most "ordinary" people seem to never get away from, or realize that they can. She is the most magical individual I've ever met, and I hope that through my newfound independence and reconnection to my power source (because I thought it was her) we can share our love with our son in the same physical place all the time. We're best friends at this point, and we don't fight or make each other feel bad for what has happened. We love each other so much, but this is what is necessary at this time. It's going to take some time and experience before considering getting back together, if at all. I noticed that the Saturn/Neptune quirks correlate with our relationship's course, and I hope that the finalization of their crazy dance on June 23 will signal our reconnection. Nothing is certain. It's all up in the air.

Love and relationships as they are "happening" to me right now are mostly about two types: those that improve and those that deteriorate.

Letting go of those relationships that can no longer be "in sync" with mine and therefore hold back my increase in speed, expressed in the further opening of my chakras and the increase of my frequency, is crucial.

Not letting go of a sinking ship (or one that lingers too long in the danger zone) may very well mean going down with it.

Some of us climbed down the well to help others get out that were stuck. If we stay there for too long and the result is, that we cannot get out ourselves in the process of trying to save a few, then we only increase the workload of others that now have to climb down to get those same few AND us.

So I continue to have deep relationships with those that are ascending NOW. For the others I no longer have time. Time is up as I see it. I have given everything I've got, now I must depart.

The second type of relationship is the one where harmony is still further increased and love keeps on growing.

I found out that women on average seem to be more filled with love and wisdom, than we men are. So mixing my kundalini-energy in tantra with my ascension partner, helps me become more loving and further develop the female part in me as man, as well as giving her more grounding via her lower chakras.

Angels should be grounded, or else they do not really function down here.

Regards, Germain,

The Netherlands.

I think all your mumbo jumbo ruins relationships & you should consider what you are teaching people as it often has a very bad effect on the children in these relationships.

I hope what you intend to do is always for good, because I can see that sometimes it does harm.

Here I am with an interesting subject to talk about,

I am Italian, a single mother with a teenager that is growing very well here in Bali.

After separation from the father (11 years ago) I haven't had a relationship as I decided that next time it has to be different then all the other times before,

I want that the spark starts from him and that the connection will be only of a pure nature and of a high level of consciousness,

I want to share my deepest self and my spiritual work, through love with the next companion/best friend that is going to come sooner or later in my life.

In the mean time I am busy taking care of my life and my son's.

I don't stop working on myself to make of me a better person so that I will be ready for a relationship of a highest level, ever experienced before.

As the low of attraction is working this is what I send out in the universe( since a long time) and this is what sooner or later I am going to get.

Thanks for your messages that uplift my life.

Loads of love and Light to all of you guys,

Anna

Yes, the relationship paradigm is changing. I realize I am no longer seeking to be with somebody for any of the old reasons. I don't need someone to make me feel happy or fulfilled or alive, but someone who can partner with me in the task of creating a new world together. I don't need to possess, own, or control another person, but set them free to live their divine destiny as completely as possible. I don't need to even define what relationship is about, simply bless and honor the soul connection that exists, and let it unfold and change with the seasons.

This isn't always easy. We are caught between the old and the new. We are constantly dealing with old fears, insecurities, jealousies, and dysfunctional patterns. We are constantly dealing with our own expectations of ourselves and our partners, as well as expectations from the world around us. We haven't really created viable new models yet. Perhaps there aren't any defined models to create anyway, just a process of listening to our hearts in each moment, and trusting an evolutionary impulse that doesn't always make sense to our conditioned minds.

When I reflect on what kind of new paradigms we can create together, I think of "2150 AD", the futuristic novel by Thea Alexander. It speaks of an entire society built on a sense of vibrational resonance rather than the outdated Stone Age social conditioning that drives us today. There is the recognition that we travel in soul groups, and we find our sense of belongingness within this pod consciousness. We are not looking for a partner to magically fulfill every impossible need we have, but asking ourselves what we can give to rather than receive from each other. In this context, relationships and sex are a means for deeper communion with the whole, and the more unconditionally loving we are the more fulfilled we each can be within this pod consciousness.

In the society of 2150 AD, people have learned to move beyond the competitive model based on survival of 'self' to a pod consciousness where they derive their sense of identity from the entire soul group. There is the recognition that our highest joy is to support each other's highest joy. Nobody owns or controls anybody else because 'other' is not separate from 'self'. There is no need for jealousy or possessiveness because there is no sense of ownership.

Is this a realistic model for us today? I believe that the human species is in the midst of making an evolutionary leap. Sri Aurobindo referred to our emergence from the 'animal human' based on survival needs to the 'human human' based on emotional needs to the 'divine human' based on soul needs. Barbara Marx Hubbard refers to this emerging species as the 'universal human'.

I feel that the paradigm shift taking place in relationships today is a response to this evolutionary impulse. The more attuned we are to this impulse the more we will be called to risk these uncharted waters. Perhaps each person's journey of relationship will be absolutely unique. Perhaps it is not even about creating an alternative model of relationship but learning what it means to live from our hearts in each moment and to trust our unique process based on our own attunement to the emerging 'divine human'. It is a process of maturity that grows from the inside out.

A new paradigm based on unconditional pod consciousness cannot be imposed from the outside. It is something that must emerge from within, which is why it can sometimes be so confusing. It is a process of breaking out of our old emotional and societal conditioning, and requires a great deal of awareness, self-respect, and trust in the process of life. In learning to love another more fully we are learning to love ourselves more fully. And it is only as we love ourselves more fully that we can love another more fully, finally extending this to the entire human family.

Thanks for holding this focus. It is much needed in our world today, and I am curious to see hot it all comes together. Envisioning ways that we can integrate the new evolutionary impulse into various aspects of our personal and global culture has been a focus of my own writings as well, and I look forward to staying in touch with all of you...

Kiara Winderider

Living since 17 years a relationship which unfolded in many forms. We met in Hawaii in a seminar, apparently being very different and coming from different worlds, a great love was there to start a life together. I am 66, he is 57. I am Aradhana, an artist and art teacher having my own private art school. He is Jan, a computer expert, networker, having his own company. We live in Belgium.

After 14 years of quite unconditional mutual support, which allowed him to open his own business and me my own art school in the house where we live, everything started to become very difficult.

Last December his company was closed down for bankruptcy, taxes are very high in Belgium and a few months later he had a open heart surgery. For me I try since 6 years to save the ship from sinking with my utmost involvement.

Lately, his recovery is at a still point and his life force is very low. It is a deep point of decision for him self if he wants to continue to live. The daily confrontation with his dilemma is very difficult for me.

I am aware that Relationship is for the better and for the worse and that this is part of the path we chose to travel together until.... My question is: Where to find the courage to make the best out of what life brings us?

Thank you for reading my message. I have done Earth and Sky with Drunvalo when he came to Belgium in 2001 and feel in my heart very connected to him and his work.

Love

Aradhana

Great and interesting issue to ask people how they perceive their relationships. So I want to tell you my point of view right at this time.

I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to meet my "love of life" many years ago. The relationship was almost perfect - big respect, holy sex, no jealousy - we complemented each other and there was no struggle or disharmony. Yes, deep harmony is a good description of that relationship.

But all of a sudden, where both of us could not imagine that anything or anyone could tear us apart, she fell in love with another one. It was a big conflict not only for me, but even for her, because she didn't want that to happen. So the relationship came to an end after some time fighting for hours, we were out of energy and accepted what happened.

That time was very tough. It took me about two or three years to overcome this, to be free for other women. Since then I just had one real noteworthy relationship which was based on a completely other base and level, but it broke as well - this time it was because certain things didn't work. The respect and the love were the same, but we simply were too different to live a deep relationship together.

So, now in the present, my awareness has developed a lot. I realized, that both relationships were given to me to learn. To experience what love is all about, what it really means to love unconditionally. I still love and respect the woman of my first relationship, although there is no possibility to go on with the old kind of relationship. Loving and having a relationship are two different "things", they are not tightly bound together. I love her but at the present I cannot imagine to have a relationship again - we both developed in different ways - which we would not have, if we convulsively tightened the relationship just because it "has to be and we want it so". I am grateful for my current development which leads me closer to myself, to the universe and spirit.

in the second relationship the same thing came up - unconditional love, don't bind yourself to another, be free in what you are - love but don't make yourself dependent on the other, don't expect anything, don't force the loved one into your image of how it has to be. This time I realized it and we broke the relationship because of that, not because we didn't love each other anymore. We both know that if the other one is in need, there will always be support and help.

'We are one but we are not the same'. (Bono) - How right he is.

And NOW I am single for several years - without the need to immediately get a partner just because it has to be or because I want endearment and sex. I can live without that (I don't like one-night-stands because this is not the sex I used to have, this is animal-ish and pushed by hormones, egoistic rather than united). I look very forward to meet my next love of live - who will come if it has to be right at the time when it is best suited for me and my development. And if it should last 100 years, so be it. Deep inside me I also feel that I have learned my lessons in this life concerning relationships, there is no wheel of recurrence regarding this anymore.

In fact I experience that if I get into the opportunity to have a relationship something immediately happens that stops the opportunity - just as if it simply should not be. So, it is still interesting. A filter, that prevents me of the "wrong" ones. I see it as an impact of my higher self, that leads me if I let it. For me, there is no reason to have the conventional kind of relationship anymore, which I often see influenced by fear rather than love - "I don't want to be alone" "I need someone" "How does it look like if you are alone" "Otherwise I will never have children".

And I think that's the challenge of the current time - to learn exactly that, that love cannot be bound to expectations. Unconditionality in its essence has to be experienced. This is why so many relationships break and people are making the same mistakes again and again.

Much love and light!

Bernhard

Even if you do not recommend my opinions for printing, I would like for Drunvalo to read this. He will understand it.

I am well known to jump into things with both feet. This is no exception. My experience of love will be unlike any other. I am creating my own World. I suppose others can create what is their own. I hope that my personal and experiential relationships, on Earth and in Heaven, are a sufficient answer to the question of relationships.

Relationships are difficult. I know that is a statement that will re-adjust my self-creating cosmos every time I even think it. However, for me, it is simply true.

I have been in one for 35 years, the same one. I knew my mate was my mirror, and I wasn't interested in new mirrors of the same reality, over and over again. I decided to get it right in the same one, same spouse, same set of dynamics. Keeping it simple was my goal. I found that relationships are everything but simple!

We are all in search of our Soul Ray, Soul Mate, Twin Flame, or whatever you call your direct other half from the beginning of creation. I believe if we do not go beyond jealousy into love, we are no where close to experiencing Sacred Union with that Eternal Mate.

For most of us, life is lived according to the conditions imposed upon us by institutions of family, religion, society, etc. Our rules and morals embrace monogamy to an extreme measure. Jealously is rarely transcended. I believe through love and spirituality, the belief of ownership of another being, can and must be transcended. Until you have gone through jealousy, you are never free, never beyond fear. Fear of losing something precious to you keeps you forever in bondage.

Jealousy is only natural in lower animalistic consciousness. The full potential as Divine Beings is to love unconditionally all of life, everything.

Although I did not experience an open relationship with my mate, I believe he did with me. I call that needing some "strange". I also learned to know it as his healing.

I began to discover I could turn my attention to the Spiritual Inner Planes for some "strange" myself. I began with the Master of my Heart. In Heaven, I know this blending as Sacred Union, and it moves me beyond any earthly passion I have ever known.

I also thought I had found my true one and only mate. That was the Cosmic Joke on me. There are no Superstars in Heaven. There can be no control of any one, surely not with the Masters. My ideas and experiences of Perfect Oneness began to crumble when I learned the Masters want "Strange" too.

There is a legend of even Krishna's youthful dalliances with the gopis, the young cow maidens. And of course, who could forget the love story of Osiris and Nepthys, sister to Isis. When He made love to her, a garland of flowers fell from the love and passion He felt for her. Nepthys was even worth losing His own Eternal Immortality.

So for those of you who are hopeful for Eternal Cosmic Love with one mate, you will probably be as shocked as I am to know that Sacred Union in Heaven is more like a Divine Orgy, a feast prepared for us all that will absolutely curl your toes.

I have come to understand this Sacred Shared Union as healing for all who participate. This sharing is Christ Consciousness moving within and amongst us. There is no faster or more profound healing path I have ever found. One day I am in extascy, the next I am painfully picking up the pieces of what's left of me. In the end, I always come back to love.

So if you are Mary Magdalene, and you have found your Yeshua, remember wild horses run unbridled or their Spirit dies. We must Eternally heal jealously. There are no shotcuts, although there are someways that are faster and someways that are longer. I call MY way, "Going through the fire". I want to heal and to allow healing. I have no right to tell anyone the choices they should make in order to heal themselves.

Love and encouragement to you all,

Jerrene

aquariel@comcast.net

My take on what relationship means...

If you take the word apart and add a letter it is "relate as to "one ship" That speaks to me about what relationship is... If we see each other as one-ship, we will treat each other as if treating ourselves. If we get hungry, we feed ourselves, if we are cold, we clothe ourselves, then too, should we not treat others the same. Isn't this what Jesus said, "Do unto others as we would do unto ourselves." So if we see each other as a unity "a one-ship", we would behave in a way that would take care of hunger, or human needs, etc. We would realize that whatever we do for another in a relationship, we are doing for ourselves. Relationship just doesn't extend to those we want a special relationship... if we are all part of the "one-ship", then those who come across our paths in our journey, that maybe we might want to avoid, forget, etc, maybe even consider our enemy, those too we must see as part of this unity.

Of course... we can take it one step further and see all of life on earth on the same "one-ship" together. And if we understand the saying "As above --- so below", does it not relate to the earth as well. Yes. If we know that the unity and balance of energy in us, will affect the unity and balance in the earth. What a relationship then we can have with every living thing.

Of course... to really be able to see, feel and act that way, we have to go within and come from a place of Love - Unconditional.

So un-conditional love is the answer... It is that simple.

Thanks for asking us to share our ideas on it.

Love from Rose

Good for you that you recognize that your perception is your perception AND how wonderful it is that you know that! Kudos to you.

Since it's taken 52+ years for me to get some sort of reality check about the normality of life and many things that are similar for most people I find focusing on relationships and love very timely.

We have a relationship with every person we come in contact with. If one believes when contact occurs between two beings an exchange of energy occurs during the encounter, and if one looks at relationships as a connection between two distinct entities, then every single encounter become one of connection and relationship. It is the energy that runs within and without us, throughout every single thing which connects us all. Each of us is a thread of All That Is. Whether or not it becomes more of a connection/relationship depends, I believe, on how that first interaction feels to us. Then all along the way how we feel in the relationship, determines where it goes and what it becomes.

Love is an interesting concept as it is dependent on so many variables. There is not just one description/definition/perception of it but as many as there are people living on the planet. The eternal search for love seems to be an attempt to find someone else who, despite how we are, cares about us. And in the same moment holds us precious and wonderful because of who we are.

My favorite, absolutely favorite way of experiencing love is when I'm around a two year old who's crazy about me. The two year old loves and adores me just the way I am and wants me to come and play. What a delicious thing that is.

Kindness and compassion often open up the doorway to love. I'm pretty convinced that all of us have some sort of skewed view of love. It's work and time mixed just so then there's a dash of passion draped with gentleness. Some days it looks like a bit of glamour and other days it looks like the flu out of control. It isn't static because we aren't. It's vague and obvious all in one hot deal. And the best part is it's there all the time, everywhere, just waiting for us. The only real condition of love is that we choose to say yes to it.

Marion

I have not had a "partner" for several years. My main relationship with a man is that of best friends and spiritual brother. While we do have sex (and he has been my only sexual partner for a few years) we do not live together. In fact our current spiritual work requires us to live on different continents. We are free to live our lives as we see fit and there is no jealousy of any relationships either one of us may have.

I have been married twice and was never as close or shared as much of myself as I do with this man. We have discussed relationships in the future and believe that, at least in the spiritual community, they will be more open and not necessarily just two people. We see communities sharing and living together as a family. I really don't like to use the word commune as they immediately bring up a negative connotation. I don't imagine orgies, or the "free love" of the sixties, but see that sex wouldn't be limited to just one monogamous partner.

As to what a "one to other" relationship is to me now:

The sexual aspect just isn't that important. Allowing and supporting each other to be the Sons of God they are is the most important aspect. Sharing our inner processes with trust, sharing opinions and advice then letting go of it, no judgments, no expectations or demands, being complete by oneself and sharing that completeness, a shoulder to cry on, and a spirit to laugh with. These are the wonderful aspects of my strongest relationship now.

I still occasionally feel pangs of wanting someone to "take care of me." I miss the hugs of living with someone. But they aren't as strong now. I am in the process of closing this chapter of my life and while I have clues for the next chapter, I don't know where it will take place.

M

Right away, what love means in my relationships is to make what I call "my spring cleaning" which consists in not letting anger or bitterness get installed between me and someone else

So I tell to the person the exact feeling I have towards a situation, very small or bigger source of conflict, the kind of situation I would not have talked about before, thinking this might create a conflict or having the risk to be less loved, or just because I was not even conscious about it!

This is what I am presently discovering: being true, as true as possible towards me first, of course, but also towards others.

This is completely new, completely honest and sure, it will surprise some people, as we are not used to this in our social comportments.

Hug and love

Fé

Hi, Thoughts on this are... all that I am in contact with in life, animate and inanimate, people, pets, places etc are really a set of relationships. As soon as you meet a person they are already responding to you in a thousand ways. Things can get sticky when we think that the world and our experience of it are one thing and we ourselves another, somehow "outside".

Relationship is the miraculous mediation between ultimately unknowable events. Relationship is more vital, more immediate, more real than anything we think about what the "other" or ourselves are. It is a pity that language and habit create the illusion that somehow we can "know" what the other is...as soon as something becomes fixed we cease to relate to it.

Thanks,

Lewis.

I like this quote from Keith Miller:

"The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack."

Caroline (Cal) Smith

CallizetteSmith@aol.com

My thoughts on relationships in this 'NOW' time are far removed from my thoughts a few years ago. In those days the relationship paradigm was physical, 'faithful', one to one...I hadn't experienced any other way. With the End Time/Awareness/Enlightenment, call it what you will, my whole life and outlook changed. Spirit moved me into situations never before encountered and brought me into contact with like minded people...People who's love shone from their eyes, whose integrity oozed from them, people (friends I now call them) with whom I would walk the universe. Trust - Acceptance - Love. I am in a safe place now. I am in my Heart Space. I am at Peace. Now I can start manifesting with knowledge..

Laughter Love and Light

Jean

Indeed, it's become very apparent that the structure doesn't work according to the ideals here, especially in this country. When it does, most of the time it is out of compromise, like children, or for material wealth. I believe a true union between 2 souls exists but at this juncture love is meant to be spread around, especially to fellow Bringers who recognize and understand the concept of love as a pure reality that is to be shared as the divine experience it is. So when sexuality is introduced into the relationship, it is regarded and felt as true, pure love, and ideally both parties are at an understanding of the faulty relationship structures they have endured in the past. This is the way we are and the way things need to go before people can truly understand such a union for what it is. Think about those love-chimps in China who live in the rainforest and make love to each other all day. They are existing in the pure form. They are probably living 5D. Anyways, I wasn't going to respond to this initially because relationships are such a tired subject to me but I understand and recognize that a lot of people are still stuck in soul-deflating entanglements and need to learn what they are doing to themselves.

l(g)o(d)ve eternal,

Andrew Sanchez

Relationship has a lot to do with this word...communication.

How we "relate" to each other is directly connected to how efficient we are at communicating. GOOD MATURE both sides communication, where you can communicate (express and listen) honestly and cleanly without trying to control the outcome or having judgment.

I have often said, if we could make the whole world truly telepathic so that you got where the other person was truly and why they truly do/act the way they do... it would be the fastest healer and catalyst to ALL the problems of humanity.

Peace

Darlyne

I felt inclined to write my feelings on relationships. It seems that what we are moving into is going to look so very different that anything that we have ever experienced. The relationships in the past few years seem to really move quickly when you are living from the heart and speaking your truth. It seems like wisdom attained from relationships is gained now in a few weeks, versus in the past, where it may have taken years or even decades. I feel that this process has moved up in time span because time is moving so much faster. I got married and to my surprise it only lasted 3 weeks. In the three week period of time it seemed like I went through a decade of growth and realization. After I chose to detach from the relationship my world opened up. I have dated many men, all from whom I gained an expanded sense of self. It was like I was gathering information and moving through karmic pay backs without having to be in a deeply attached relationship for a long period of time. I am feeling that there is "THE RIGHT PERSON" but maybe not quite aligned to it yet. I feel like I am preparing my life for him, but not really knowing what that means or looks like, but just knowing that I am getting all my conscious "ducks in a row". It feels with all the energy changes people are releasing the old and realigning now to the next level of this evolutionary process. The "traditional relationship" seemed from my perceptive to be about taking care of the other person, being of service to them. It now feels to me that we are to be in service and true to ourselves and be in a partnership with the other that is being true to them selves and support each other on that journey. My opinion was that the traditional relationship was to take care of everyone else first and then maybe take care of your self, if there was time or if you had any energy left. Now it is take care of your self (centered in self) and shine your light and come together with another so that your light can shine even brighter together.

Peace, Love & Harmony

Blessings, Rhonda Doerr

Having been happily married for almost 30 years, that relationship has not changed much over the years. When you love someone, you feel inspired to tell that person on a daily basis how you feel. That keeps the bond of love strong and the relationship fun and fulfilling.

For me, relationships survive on love and also integrity. The two go together. Without integrity, love cannot last and without love, integrity becomes a burden, a shackle.

Is it possible to have a relationship where one side has love and integrity and the other not? I don't believe so, at least not for any length of time.

A person who demonstrates love and integrity will find others of like mind and heart. That is how the laws of the universe work.

Fortunately, universal laws supersede man-made laws. That means no matter how bad things get in the world, your own personal relationships can remain strong and fulfilling.

:-) Ken MacLean

Dear Friends,

Currently in Arizona I experience a drastic different perspective in the cultural basis of me as a Dutchman...on what relationships entail and can possibly be....

However based on: love and trust, honesty, patience and just those "simple" things...the spiritual newness is a constant changing awareness, I believe. I am 49 and only just beginning to learn the basics of becoming more in tuned and accepting of the other as still other, and yet devoted and the true "beloved" !

I think we slowly learn the real good and wonderful things.

slowly

love (I hope)

Jeroen

Nice to see that you will be running an article on the 'new' and shifting paradigm surrounding our relationships/issues.

I wrote an article in 'The New Spirit Journal' which is published by Krysta Gibson in Seattle.

It was on, 'Blessing the Break-up'. It is available online: www.thenewspiritjournal.com

January 2007 issue, page 12.

As you can tell from the title, it is about relationships and how they change as we change as well as blessing them for what they are, often the lessons that together we agreed with each other, to have and then to move on. Never an easy lesson however.

My view is that the time is here now to have the most profound and deep relationships we've ever had in this lifetime. Karmic ties to 'others' and lessons should be over and done with.

The higher dimensional energies that are blasting this planet at this time and certainly creating some chaos, destruction, and cleansing are also bringing the ability to feel more compassion, tolerance and true unconditional love. It is always our choice and free will to do so, or not. But what if we choose to use this amazing, transformative energy to bring into our thoughts, vision and then into our individual reality, a true, trusting, deep and compelling relationship, unlike any we've every had before? Perhaps our twin flame, if you believe in the idea of 'another' that is as much a split apart or a fragment of our Soul when sent out to have this life experience. The balance of our male/female. A true partnership formed and made in Heaven to be experienced, here and Now. "Wow", I would say, "Bring it on!" ... it will be intense and can be the most painful and at the same time the most loving and passionate. "Why not go for it?"

Imagination is the prelude of things to come. Use the Law of Attraction wisely and first BE all you were meant to be, thus attracting that 'like energy' to your Self. What awesome partnerships could and will be formed and what wonderful 'light work' can be done, together.

I think this is our Future. In times of tremendous change and accelerated time we'll come together in the storm and survive it. Not only will we survive, but we will thrive and show others the way of true love. I'm currently single, again and looking forward to the best relationship/partnership, ever....soon!

I hope this falls in line with what you are looking for,

Blessings,

Brenda Roberts

Journey TV and Radio producer

Here's my spin...

Love and relationships are really great until they are not. Relationships founded on real love are all about freedom because expectations are really pre-meditated resentments. If you focus on forever, you can never be truly present in your relationship.

If you really want a great relationship, choose to be happy instead of right!

Wanting to be right can transform Valentine's Day from light hearted fun into a pre-meditated resentment. Let's say your "someone special" forgets to buy you roses and sends them on February 15th instead. So, you punish then by shutting them out, refusing to enjoy the flowers and you tell all your friends how much he hurt you. True love?

What happens when the person you fell in love with no longer matches the illusion of who you think they should be? How you exit relationships is much more important than when you believe that you are in love, because it shows who you really are...

What about when couples get divorced and they terrorize their kids by making them to choose sides? They give up their rights and freedom to the court in an effort to punish their once beloved spouse and they pay thousands of dollars in attorney fees leaving themselves in financial ruin.

If you are "right" then that makes other people wrong! Not exactly the best way to make friends. Choosing to be right means that your mind is not flexible and open to love…the very thing you are seeking. Think about the price of right.

If you are looking for a relationship because something is lacking from your life, then you are requesting "more lack" from the Universe...what you resist persists. The deeper you know yourself, the happier you will be. Get very clear on what you want out of a relationship and become that person - then you can be happy with anyone or no one because you are no longer seeking something outside of yourself.

Julie Blake

As a budding master alchemist, my experience of love, partner/lover, heck all of my relationships, has undergone a major paradigm shift esp. in the past couple of years with the shift upon us.

It's now 'safe' to say, or, accurate, that any notion of 'old paradigm', romantically conditioned relationship has been dissolved away from my system. The previously intellectual concept I've held about 'whole person' being with 'whole person' , sans karmically conditioned hoo-ha and drama, has now become my moment to moment experience for real - authentically walking my talk you could say.

How does this new paradigm translate into everyday relational living in 2007? Beautifully! I'm delighted to say that I feel completely free as a spirit in a body, fully embodying Self-love and stillness, free from any attachment, expectation and certainly entanglement with others energetically! I'm relationally living what I've originally always dreamed of, began wishing and longing for years ago, made affirmations about and then intended for.

Consequently, my interaction with everyone today has parameters of energetic clarity, happiness, gentleness, empowerment, kindness and well-wishing compassion. this freedom, of course, allows for pure-hearted openness and levels of intimacy that never existed before. I'm standing in my own power and still point within myself, and have absolutely no need of any movement, either toward or away from another person.

Unconscious defense mechanisms are a thing of the past. I now attract to me exactly the highest frequency experiences and people that I choose - upliftment, upliftment, upliftment all way around.

I certainly can't speak for another's experience, though in theory, depending upon one's level of freedom from attachment, expectation, or neediness toward another, your probability of experiencing happiness and harmony are greatly enhanced - and I'm speaking of total presence, no ambivalence.

I wouldn't go back to an old paradigm experience of relationship now for anything, not even for a moment, even if I could, which I can't anyway - that's all deliciously dissolved away and I live and breathe on a new ground of being that is literally heaven on earth!

So how good can I stand it? Bring it on! I am an exquisite powerful magnetic lover of life and Love's fullest expression.

I now fall totally in love with every breath and every moment. How seductive and intimate is that?! Hope this sharing adds to your intention.

blessings,

~Jana

Because my previous relationships with the opposite sex have been exploitative, I am now only in Platonic relationships. I find they last longer that way. They are also more beneficial to both of us. I listen, learn and share. I allow women to help me along in my spiritual path. I enjoy female companionship. We go to lunch and dinner, movies, church, etc. We may hug. We may say, "I love you." But there is nothing more physical than that. I find these relationships last longer than those based on sex.

Namaste

Special love relationship to me is to work with my other to integrate our polarities to become more and more whole. Replacing our fears and neuroses with joy.

All other relationships are about recognizing them as fragments of myself. Loving them for who they are and forgiving them (which is forgiving myself) for who I think they should be. Realizing that everything that is, is perfect.

Shanti Shanti Shanti!

Siri Das

It is so interesting to find synchronicity in my life as my husband and I were just chatting to some men last night at our monthly motorcycle club dinner social about relationships. They wanted me to talk to their wives about my philosophies because clearly, their marriages lacked what they really wanted and based on our discussion, our marriage fostered what they sought. Not to say that we stood in judgment or that our marriage is perfect but so few people are really open about what is/isn't working in their marriages/partnerships and taking responsibility for its success.

Some of the key issues I mentioned to them that were part of our successful marriage:

Try as often as you can to say "yes" to your partner. This allows each partner to feel like they are getting what they want (within reason) the majority of the time so they don't feel deprived and become resentful that their needs are not getting met.

Make lovemaking a priority! I cannot stress this enough. It is more than a sexual act. Humans having a 3D experience need to connect on a soul level in a big way and sexual and physical (touching, hugging, playing, flirting, laughing, etc.) contact feeds that need.

Learn to respect one another when arguing. Disrespect toward a partner during an argument is something my husband and I refuse to participate in and actively work toward listening to the true issue at hand. Often times, a partner's anger toward the other is not about the current issue; there is old baggage coming into play, sometimes without either partner realizing it.

Take time apart and away from home to feed individual interests so that when you reunite, the passion continues by way of reconnecting and hearing about your partner's new experience(s) even if you don't participate in that interest or at least, to the extent that your partner does.

My husband and I often joke that we should write a book about how to have a good marriage. I'm happy to see that someone is willing to write an article or articles about the qualities that make a partnership/marriage work within a spiritual context.

Best of luck with your writing! As a writer myself, I know how rewarding it is to write about topics that really matter.

Namaste,

Teresa

This time finds me alone and lonely, longing for a relationship. However, I am not willing to settle for anything, not willing to compromise my self for a relationship. I wish for an equal partner- one who respects me and loves me.

I was in a verbally abusive marriage for many years to an alcoholic. I would rather live the rest of my life alone than to be in a relationship like this again.

I have been on a spiritual path for many years. I feel I have become a kinder, gentler person. I pray to Spirit every day that I may find a partner to share my spiritual path with soon.

Peace, Annie

Here are my thoughts and story. I started my conscious awakening with Tensegrity (Castaneda magical passes), which lead me to Reiki and Kryon books(end of 2005) From there it has been rapid journey.

So, at the end of 2005 I had to break up with my girl friend. We were together 7 years and at this time our daughter was 2 years old. It was extremely hard to follow my heart, but my heart called me away, to be in an environment where I can be alone and concentrate to my spiritual journey. What I want to say for these people out there who may be in similar situation, go with your heart. No matter how hard it may seem, or how impossible, it is the only way.

Now, when I look back, not much time has passed. We do very well. We are in good friendly relationship and when I go to meet my daughter, we all three visit together my parents or hers. Or some small trips - it is nice and easy. I know that I can give them much more love like this, growing and following my own path and for that, at this moment in time/space, I need to be alone(not alone middle of the forest but living alone).

Be at peace inside and outside will follow.

Ainar Leppik

I think that your approach to asking us our idea about 'what is love?' is really nice.

So, I will give you my view:

The last 20 years I have been working on the ideal harmony between my inner male-female-child relations, which have become sooo harmonious and nice that only now I feel I am ready to attract the male external factor in my life. The child external factor I realized 27 years ago, and also my relation with my son is beautiful, nurturing and happy. The only thing that is lacking at this moment is the external male factor, a partner. Only now I feel ready to allow that part also in my life and I feel thrilled about it.

From my own experience I can tell that the external relationships will be harmonious and loving, once we have found our inner harmony and love for ourselves totally.

Hope you can do something with this.

Love, Donna

Relationships are sacred ground to me - the only platform we have to reference ourselves in such a dynamic and emotionally rich way. To me, all "Others" are a reflection of the one source and in turn a reflection of myself. Any "Shadowy" things that I see manifesting in others is really my take on those things, and thus a reaction or response within my own infinite nature. I feel that in this dynamic we have teachers all around us, in every facet of experience, from a stranger to a close intimate partner - all is sacred ground for growth and understanding ourselves and our personal integration. We are so very lucky!! When we think about another who we aspire to be like, that they have positive traits and understanding etc, those are really seeds within us. The experiences are like water on the seeds of remembrance that are already present. The same is true for all apparently "negative" interactions and reactions - all is a mirror unto the self. See yourself in all things and love all as one.

In Love and Truth - Christian - UK

I am experiencing the disillusionment of a one and a half year relationship. I am 56 years old and so my child is grown and I am presently single again. This email might just be my diary entry. I am a student of ACIM and so my treatise on relationship is from my experience and tinged with the Course vocabulary which I shall mediate as I go along. I am understanding that relationships are changing and certainly Drunvalo mentioned that as the hydrogen oxygen (?) ratio changes so will relationship bondings be affected. Thus, the 2 person relationship will seek 2 others to make a foursome and on and on. Drunvalo seemed to indicate that in fact the 2 person relationship is in demise. I will say that I do not know if the foursome is an open 4 or in fact a 2 and 2. Certainly I am meeting more and more polygamous people. I myself was involved in an open marriage for 5 years in the 80's. This worked for me because the commitment was founded on mutual agreement. Our arrangement involved a lot of communication and honesty and love. It was an oasis for all of us. In the end, their marriage ended. I found a single relationship and she entered a lesbian relationship. He married and is still married. My take, 20 years later is that I prefer one on one relationships. Now we come to the concept of conditioning. Am I conditioned to seek this? Is linear experience germane to my current point of view? I believe I keep an open mind and hold that anything is possible and since all time is happening concurrently even the concept of preference and conditioning is of interest to me. So... here goes my story of my understanding of my relationships. It begins with the fairy tale of my youth. True Love and Happy Ever After. I acknowledge the illusion of the subconscious and conscious and that 'both' are the domain of Time whose name is Ego and the concept of Guilt.

At age 7, I encountered Davy Crockett on the TV and fell in love. Not for me, Zorro or Superman or Bing Crosby. I saw what I wanted in the King of the Wild Frontier. Davy could do no wrong. When I was 16 I dreamed I was the Old Woman of the Woods living in a log cabin with a river running by and that my relationships were the encounters with the men that passed through my life; never to stay. Nineteen had me looking for my 'other half' and by the time I was 21 I knew that I wanted the 'winds of Heaven to dance between us'. I also had a clear insight that I would find him at age 25 and have a healthy boy child. My childhood Father is charming, good looking, smart and a rage-aholic. He also drinks and is physically and emotionally abusive. The kids of the neighborhood call Dad, THE BEAST. Thus, the parameters of my 'One and Only' defined themselves by what I did not want. Five marriage proposals later and a lot living together, I found myself at 25 saying, YES! He is tall, dark and handsome, brilliantly artistic and wonderfully spiritual and intelligent. I am ever so in love with my cross-dressing schizophrenic husband- to-be. We fought a lot, split up a lot, and finally divorced 8 years later. Undaunted, son in tow, I continue with my search for true love through the promising corridors of serial monogamy. Inherent in my 'choice' of partners is an understanding that values must be shared. For example; I knew I would never cheat on my man and so it always surprised me when they went behind my back. I also held sacred, 'friends no matter what' - fuel for my spiritual path and the arena of forgiveness. Needless to say, I am always attempting to understand what's going on with my love life. Definite patterns are emerging and the repetition is getting really scary. At one recent workshop in California, I stated what I was looking for in a relationship and the men chortled that only God could fill that bill. One compassionate brother turned me onto the book, 'The World is my Waiting Lover', thus giving my partners the enchanting role of Escorts to the Divine. At last, a purpose to all the vicissitudes that I call Love and a simple caveat: stop falling for the ferryman.

Finally, there came the time when I decided to be by myself. Yet, another relationship had crashed in the ashes of jealousy and I knew for certain, I was doing something not quite right. Everything is a reflection of a grievance I hold within myself. A year later, a friend set me up on a date which was both exhilarating and disastrous and led to me going out with his friend for a year. My girlfriend reminds me that I said I would like to meet someone just like me. Forget opposites attract and put the emphasis on the similarities. When I met him, he said, 'I am an alcoholic, an addict, and in love with my friend's wife, but she's never going to leave him'. Too late! I had already cast him in the fantasy role of Davy Crockett, confirmed by the fact that he lived in a log cabin with a river running by. It took me a year of emotional turmoil and a lot of good times to finally sort out what I call a love relationship. Throughout my life, most of my desires of love have been unconscious despite my moments of conscious clarity and direction. First, I objectify, that is, see him as a material object. That means I must see myself as a material object. Next, I project my fantasy which is to cast him in the role of Davy Crockett. This promptly declares him my one and only sexual partner. Infidelity is not an option. All fantasies have an inherent fatal flaw. As long as the relationship meets my needs, I seem to be able to prolong the inevitable disillusionment. Thus, I would say that my relationships exist as a tension between fantasy and the fatal. It seems the attractor field brings us together and sets us up for the inevitable. I get left facing myself. A consistent request for all my relationships is a 'willingness to work on oneself' - shades of Gurdjieff. In my odyssey of love, I experienced the repetition of the thought that I can't keep doing this. Finally. I have come to understand that until I truly love myself, real intimacy is impossible. True love and intimacy is not about joining bodies and making love. Love is Real only then, when I Am being the Love that I Am. Being in my Heart.

So, all projections are self-conflict and an act of violence. I am questioning everything and I am going to be by myself again while I learn to love myself without projection and be of my heart. I envision a fertile and profoundly nourishing space in which to grow in the miracle of forgiveness and Love without end. And I envision sharing this with all in creative intimacy and Oneness - Sovereign and Integral.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for. I thought if I told my story with the theme of relationship as the focus, you would derive the bits you found useful for your article. I feel that waking up, forgiveness and loving one self is the only order of relationship that is real and that people will continue to try and find love in the illusion of 'other'. This will create all manner of combinations. Some will seem fine and some won't. Whether it is founded on chemical bonding patterns or, 'I want, I need, I miss, I can't live without, I love you', does it really matter? The thing is, Unconditional Love has no beginning and no end and so what else is there? Love is not what I 'think' it is. When the Sun and Moon are one, our work is done.

Very simple but a lot of words could be said.

Married 31 years in a true monogamous heterosexual marriage by Justice of the Peace in Hippie times.....

6 years in poly Amory type relationships which in my experience were only true soul connections... that also meaning more than one person at a time.

Remarried in 2005 to what I perceive to be my Twin Flame Ancient, ancient, ancient one soul........

After working with many singles and couples even today....hearing the screams of sorrows, lack of integrity, cheating, lack of speaking your truth, lack of authenticity and on and on and on.....

Monogamy in sacred divine love and sexuality is truly the only union I am interested in.........the power in such a relationship with the sacred feminine and masculine is profound and I believe the true keepers......movers and shakers of all that is coming.......

I do not believe that the above statement is in judgment in any way for those that are single........they have their journey........we have ours........

Blessings,

Barry Baruch Kapp

Master Medicinal Aroma therapist

Page Springs, AZ.

The request for relationship input is pretty cool. Personally, I'm wondering how the current state of the Universal Cycle is affecting or increasing the ability of people not to commit as a result of being pulled in the direction of a larger purpose . Or rather, is there perhaps planetary energy making it hard for more people to be in committed relationships and/or feel emotionally attached?

Thanks,

Lisa

Relationship and love, first of all that means to me to know and to feel that all of creation is one - because of that I try to see the divine nature in anyone and anything, who shares my reality, even if it's not always very easy. But I try to do my best and it is improving day by day. My Merkaba is programmed to send out unconditional love to all life everywhere at any time. The results are wonderful relationships not only with friends but also even with `strangers` which I meet i.e. at a bus stop or in a plane.

Some people try to abuse this, trying to gather advantages for themselves at my cost. In such cases I say kindly but very strictly: "Stop it". To have unconditional love for all life everywhere doesn't mean to me to give way to such abuses.

But in total, to be in that love (and it doesn't matter, how perfect or imperfect my performance is, only that my intention is valid) is the most satisfying thing, I ever experienced.

I hope, this will help you with your article, I'm looking forward to it,

Love, Light and Blessings to you, Drunvalo and all the stuff of Spirit of Maat,

sincerely yours,

Wolfgang :-)))))

Wolfgang Mikeleit

wmikeleit@web.de

Germany

I am 70 years old. I spent 20 years in a Benedictine Convent as a nun. When I left I dated men for about 10 years and married in '86 and my husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last June.

There could be a long story here about relationships of all kinds. I taught school for 22 years. There was no problem loving the children. My relationships with my students were great. (Now I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who does complimentary and alternative energy work with my client's.)

I had many friends in the convent and out of the convent and still do. I grew up in a large family. Most people who knew me then and know me now would say I am a fairly happy person. My relationships were wonderful, happy and, at times, very painful, especially in my younger days in the convent.

I was told by a couple of metaphysical teachers that I definitely was not here in this lifetime to learn about relationships because I knew how to be in relationship. I thought that was an interesting comment to hear and was not always sure and wondered at times if they were correct.

As I look back now in my wisdom of years, the bottom-line and what I know for sure, is in all my relationships it was my relationship with myself that reflected onto my friends and created my pain when there was pain. Learning to love and accept myself without judgment was/is my biggest challenge. I knew that somewhere back there, because some wise person told me, I had to learn to love myself. No one told me how. A couple of friends and I used to commiserate about that fact back then. "How do we love ourselves?"

Ultimately, that is the bottom-line. In my marriage I have noticed it the most that as I learn to love me and accept me the more I love and accept my husband, Lee. The happier I am with me and therefore, life, the more I love Lee. This part of my world keeps growing. I observe myself growing and going in and out on how I feel about myself on any given day. It has a direct affect on how I respond and react to Lee. The more confidence, acceptance, and non judgment, the happier I am with me and, therefore, with those around me. This has grown tremendously in the past few years and is picking up speed recently - growing in a consciousness living from my center of total goodness.

This may sound trite and simplistic and I think it is huge. I read in one of Ken Keyes books years ago that we don't fall in love with someone else - we fall in love with ourselves when we are with them. I know for sure that that is true.

You probably are well aware of the following resources -

Several Marriage Educators say there are 4 stages in all relationships. Harville Hendrix, in HOW TO GET THE LOVE YOU WANT or GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT, says it best - the romantic stage, the disillusionment stage, the power struggle stage, and the conscious relationship stage.

This fits with my loving myself. The romantic stage builds the bond for the work that has to be done. We can spend hours, days and nights together and not get enough of each other. Neither can do wrong. (I say this is when we are seeing all of our good stuff in the other person and love it - falling in love with ourselves when we are with them - our mirror.)

Then one day we wake up and wonder, "what the heck was I thinking - how could I have made such a mistake to think I loved this person?" The disillusionment stage has set in! All the things we thought we loved about this person and attracted us we now cannot stand. (I say this is when we start seeing our shortcomings in the other person - again, our mirror.)

Here is where the power struggles start - trying to make them into the person we thought they were - trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It can become very painful and very often the relationship ends - breakups or divorce or even death.

Here the fourth stage comes to play. With consciousness of what is going on we can start building a conscious relationship. - One theory here is that we attract close relationships into our lives, especially life partners, to help us heal our childhood wounds. We have to be heads up with what is going on and choose to work things out in healthy ways -- through our personal growth, as well and even more so. This creates a spiritual partnership that can thrive with support of one another.

We belong to The Association For Couples in Marriage Enrichment and take our relationship seriously. We dialogue with each other within a group of 4 or 5 other committed couples - a Marriage Enrichment Group we call MEGs. ACME is the short name for the International Org. We are reminded of enriching and growing in our marriage. We take workshops and present workshops.

Three books, among many, stand out as very useful to change mindsets about relationships. You may have these. Marshall Rosenberg's NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION - A Language of Life is a unique way to look at understanding the needs behind feelings and thoughts. This creates the stress - not understanding our needs and getting them met, either by ourselves or someone else. His theory is that if everyone got his or her needs met we would have world peace. Combine Marshall's theories with George Pransky's, THE RELATIONSHIP HANDBOOK for clarity, why most any relationship can work. George Pransky bases his work on Syd Banks' philosophy. Look these persons up on the net - google them in and have a great time - Rosenberg, George Pransky and Syd Banks. There are others in the Syd Banks camp who are taking his work and making great strides. George has a cousin, Jack Pransky who does other preventive work with Bank's theories, as well. We spent a day with Jack. It was life changing for me.

Then there is a third book that can have great influence in relationships of all kinds - Gary Chapman's THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. He has this book out for all ages and kinds of relationships. It is becoming very popular. How do we give and receive love? If, we and our partner do not know, it is like talking Greek to one another and neither will feel loved. It is a subtle kind of thing and has so much power in a relationship.

Well, I have chatted on much too long.

Gratefully,

Rebecca Wiederkehr

1514 Robin Hood CT

St. Louis, MO 63122

314.822.4752

Hello; I am very glad to meet you. I'm a Mexican citizen who is very in love with this life. I don't know much about this changing, but I am sure this changing is all around love. My English is not very well, but try to understand me.

In my journey I try to do the best with only one thing, this powerful thing, this powerful sense, this powerful word - Love. Change the mind and the vision for others. I know every one of us have a mission in this time and in this vibration of energy. I hope you review this fragment. It is only a little overview of what relationship means to me in this moment.

Respectfully Yours,

Irving Hernandez

WOW! Someone finally asked me about love and relationships! I guess long, loving relationships are a bit boring these days, but since you asked, this is an opportunity I couldn't pass up!

My husband and I have been married 43 years and since he is the only man I have "been with", I have to admit my experience is limited. It is nonetheless lengthy J I can say I love him and adore him more deeply than when we first met. Over the years we have come to realize that our being together stems from intention at the very deepest Soul Level. Our walk together is truly in SPIRIT! Which is pretty good considering we are polar opposites! From political choices, to the time we like to get up in the morning, we are different! This "diversity" makes for creativity unbounded! In other words, if you ask me one thing to say about this life, it would be YEE HAW! WHAT A RIDE! (Can you tell I'm from Texas?)

We are blessed with 2 (now grown) children and 4 grandchildren, which is pretty good considering neither of us knew a damn thing about raising kids. Friends often ask us, "What's the secret of loving relationships?" It's hard to put into words, but here is the way it "feels" to me - as long as I can put my hand out, find and touch his hand there, I am exquisitely FREE!

Thanks,

Kay Shinol

According to my own experiences, in the past the people tended to relate to others through their emotions. The emotional body of the woman is male, while that of the man is female, and thus we attract a partner that matches our inner archetype - male or female. When we are conscious of the relationships that we establish and give love to others, we can become aware of emotional patterns and acquire the power to dissolve cycles of repetitive events.

In our surroundings, family, friends, colleagues, partners, lies the ego we must transmute, because they are image of us, and each of them carries a fragment of our own personality. To better our relationships in our world right now, we must first learn to relate to ourselves, embracing our weaknesses of character, avoiding judgment of others' actions, unifying our inner selves, and becoming one with others.

Separation - feeling away from the whole - is the cause of conflicts in relationships and the consequence of hindrance of creative energy. When we establish relationships from the heart there is no separation, because it is then when all antagonism disappears and we become one with the whole.

Regarding Relationships Changing -

I was in a 21 year relationship which changed dramatically. Why? Because I changed. I began to follow my spiritual calling and this was not compatible with the old life, old friendships, old patterns, or the old relationship.

It was a difficult breakup, yet the relationship's "death" in fact, birthed new friends and a new companion - all of whom are on the spiritual path. I relocated to a new city knowing a couple of people and have grown friends now numbering 250 which I never thought possible.

How are these relationships and friendships different? They are less confrontational and much more harmonious. There's no cloying distraction to any of the relationships. In fact, there's greater love, companionship and appreciation of the values, skills, and spiritual qualities of those new friends. There is more support and more unbridled coming together in harmony.

When we meet as groups now, we come, each one bringing new information - we join without competition, honoring and valuing one another's contribution, and find that we are bringing pieces of the puzzle to the table where, together, we present a full picture.

I can be more specific if you need me to be - but I think you get the gist of it. There's more trust, more honor, more respect and more allowance in these relationships than any I've ever experienced before.

Hugs and blessings, Jo

I often tell people when I am asked about relationships and how they work - I say - Instead of completely giving your self to the other person, first learn the ceremony of marriage. What are the words that are promised to the other? I will love, honor, obey, respect, cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

I believe that we as individuals should give this to our selves first, to be as complete as possible first, before we can ever give this to someone else.

I know that when a person loves themselves as best they can, then they will attract that similar person into their lives for a balanced relationship.

I do not think another person completes the other. I think a person needs to be complete first, then share him self or her self with another, so that they are both together and yet them selves.

Love & Relationships

I know that every time I grow and become more of who I am on this Earth that there are some friends who stay close and others that fall away. In the past year I have seen one friend give up the fight to stay off dialysis, move four hours south to be closer to her sister where she can get the proper treatment for her kidneys. Another friend decided to live her dream, she sold her business, her house and bought a motor home and is now traveling by herself across the US staying in places only long enough to get a feel for them. Another friend changed her vibration to match that of Lyme disease, contracted the disease, changed her personality and is no longer a close friend, her actions not mine.

On the other hand I have had the universe send me the right people or have been in the right place to see my life and purpose open to a whole new level. My abilities as a Shaman, an Animal Communicator, a story teller and a writer have taken off. The more I feel love for myself, for my family and for others the world changes around and within me. I am blessed and grateful for all that has come into my life. That is not to say that every thing in life is easy but I move through the pain and sadness quicker because of what I vibrate out to the world. LOVE I see the effect this has in my own children's lives as they too send love and light for themselves and others.

I know this may be too late but I hope it helps

Thanks,

Lesley

My name is Ellen. I am a Craniosacral therapist, wife, mother, grandmother, and Light worker who would like to share her views on this topic. Love used to mean getting what I needed from my husband, family, friends, work place etc. Then it matured into my being able to give to my family, clients etc. what they needed, and in the last few years it has morphed into a much bigger concept/experience which includes seeking the greatest and highest good for all concerned without judgment or attachment to outcome or the "way" the love looks. Let me explain a bit more.

When I grew up I did not feel loved because of physical and sexual abuse in my family of origin. I left my home after High School and married a man I thought would love me as I had wanted my father to love me. I expected I would get the Love I needed from my new partner. I think this is typical of anyone who grows up not feeling loved. They move out into the world looking for the love they wanted but did not get at home as a child. Because of the war and poverty in our world there are currently many people in this position regarding love. They are looking for others who will love them from a developmentally delayed perspective and do not yet know how to source love or love themselves. They are seeking to find it externally. I did not find it with my husband, but did experience love when my children were born. The biology of the heart connection with them helped me find love within myself which I was able to share with them. It was quite spontaneous and felt miraculous to me. They are now 32 and 34 and I still feel that love for them!! From that awareness of love within myself, I was able to value myself enough to seek and find a man who did love me the way I wanted to be loved. I have been with him 24 years now and we have worked together all of those years sharing love as service to each other, our families and our friends. This form of love looks like helping them in any way we can without being co-dependent. There are numerous people in the world who have discovered their own love and are now sharing it with others in many ways, but those needing love still outnumber those who know it in themselves.

In the last few years love has matured into a broader and less personal form. We have been practicing loving everyone and everything without attachment to outcome. We have come to see ourselves as part of a super-conscious Being that is evolving toward full self awareness and that everything that happens is part of that progression-like it or not. Taking away the judgment about what is "good" and what is "bad" takes away the duality and we can see more clearly what is needed for the greatest and highest good of all. We now see that when we project love into any situation, no matter how negative it seems, the best possible outcome occurs. We are no longer seeking to get or to give-we are going with the flow of the Universe and trusting the outcome. While we are not perfect at it, it is a much easier and happier way to live than getting or giving-and it produces the best results.

To summarize, I think humans go through several stages of experiencing "love". If their needs for being loved and cared for as children are met, they can move from the "needing love " stage to the feeling loved stage and from there move to the "giving love" stage. They may also discover the love within through nature in bearing children or deeply caring for another person. If they continue sharing this giving kind of love, they will eventually experience the entire Universe as love and come to trust it totally no matter how it all seems.

The attached photo is my new grand daughter experiencing the love of her Daddy and having her needs met with glee!!

Just a few words on Relationships.

They are changing very rapidly probably at the same rhythm as we are changing.

They are a good mirror (reflection) of who we are becoming, "like attracts like".

Friends who cannot accept who we are becoming, have to go their own path and find their own light.

Time is accelerating and changes are also accelerating.

Thank you.

Dear friends,

My two cents on this subject.

What love and relationships in my world mean to me:

Bare bones TRUTH: something about being vulnerable in being absolutely honest about everything. This engages me to be in the relationship from a place of service. My relationships sustain themselves only when personal growth and transformation are embraced, encouraged, and supported. In this way, big love naturally spills out. Love means to be able to see beyond my ego perception. Love is also the feeling of my heart opening.

Blessings to you all,

Diane McDermott

Calgary, Alberta, Canada